First off, apologies: Apparently, all this time there's been another model on America's Next Top Model from Arlington, which makes three. Or, now, two. I know, right? Clearly, she captured my attention for these last three weeks. Her name is Liz, and she's a single mom.
So, then. Last night's episode started out with a few girls complaining about our beloved Dallas girl, Wisp, whose two wins have rubbed some of the models the wrong way. A bitchfest commences, just like on every other CW show. Rhianna, a mumbling flower child who most resembles Dallas's Ann, is threatened. Arlington Liz wasn't having it. She's got bigger problems -- the kid, the bills, the food stamps.
The mini challenge, as though any of this is major, took place at Knott's Berry Farm on the Silver Bullet Roller Coaster. This was a problem. Little Sister (Chris, also of Arlington) was beyond terrified of roller coasters -- she said something about how riding one's like being chased down the street by a knife-wielding killer. You know, feelings we've all had while at amusement parks and places of childlike wonder.
The girls were to ride the coaster one by one on the front row wearing an ear piece. Nigel, a "noted fashion photographer," would feed them an emotion to convey when they posed for the mounted in-ride cameras. Again with the "high" fashion puns and the vocabulary tests. Over it.
Liz was first up. After noting that she had loose shoes and needed to pee, she nailed a "catalog-relatable" pose right after screaming her face off on the loopty-loo. Wisp was instructed to look "intense and fierce." She looked vaguely terrifying, so there's that. After considering refusing to participate, Little Sister sucked it up and got on the Bullet to work "distracted," though all Miss J. could make out was "screamin' black woman." She was proud of herself, though, for pulling through her rolly coaster phobia. Liz won the challenge and a private photo shoot with Tyra as her photographer.
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At said shoot, Liz was instructed to mimic Tyra's cover shot for the anniversary issue of her "magaline," whatever the hell that means, because as we all know, it is always about Tyra. Looking like her; imitating her; invoking her spiri;, talking, as she does, with her mouth full.
The photo elimination challenge the next day was a shoot with high-end jewelry, (dead) sea creatures, a layer of water suspended between the models and the camera and the incredibly hands-on photog-legend Matthew Rolston. As Lil Sis put it, "If you don't know who he is, you're stupid." Apparently, the weight of who Rolston is or the honor of working with him didn't register with Liz, because all she did was all bitch, bitch, bitch and blink, blink, blink.
Little Sister was given a lesson on covering her large forehead; Rolston instructed her to pose with her hand over her hairline. He gave all the girls an evaluation of their uneven mouths, unbalanced brows and other random photogenic issues.
Wisp did well yet again. During judges' panel Nigel said, "This looks like Vogue Italia to me," while Rolston commented that "Ann's look is very unique ... She looks like a movie star to the max." And she won again. AGAIN. Three in a row. That's a winner, people.