No, Tony, No: Or, Why Is Romo Hanging Out With Britney Spears, Damn It?

Dallas Cowboys fans will find a troubling headline at People.com this morning: “Britney Spears Parties with Tony Romo.” That’s how he spent his bye weekend — and how she spent her Friday night, “after a long court hearing for her custody battle,” reports People. From the looks of it, he’s pals with Alli Sims — who is …? — and they were meeting for dinner at a fab L.A. eatery, where Britney showed up to round up folks for a night on the town.

They finally ended up at Les Deux, known for such high-tone events as this brutal parking-lot brawl. Alas: It was “a friendly low-key night upstairs.” Then, reports the People, “The following night, perhaps in a nod to her friend Romo, a source says ‘Sims even playfully dressed as a quarterback for Ryan Cabrera’s costume party on Saturday night.'” Perhaps? Um … no question about it. Prediction: Philadelphia Eagles 35, Dallas Cowboys 14. Just sayin’. –Robert Wilonsky

Update: It gets worse. Or better, depending. “Lap dance.”