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Last night on KTVT-Channel 11, Jay Gormley broke the news that SMU's drug-and-drink task force, formed last in the wake of three students' deaths, has finally come up with its recommendations for dealing with abuse issues on campus. Turns out, the task force that the Daily Campus' editorial board considered a joke last July came up with a pretty good punch line: a bar on campus and on-campus fraternities parties at which booze will be allowed -- "providing they hire SMU police to check IDs and professional bartenders to serve alcohol to students of legal age." Also: raging policy-talk keggers at the George Bush think tank, tequila instead of water in the Perkins Natatorium pool and discounts on bulk marijuana purchases for graduating seniors. --Robert Wilonsky

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.