| Sports |

Penny For Your Thoughts, But a Million Bucks For Your Sorrow

Cowboys, out in the first round. Stars, out in the first round. Mavs, out in the first round. Rangers, out in the first month. As one of the longest summers in local sports history commences, I can think of nothing more therapeutic than going to the driving range and pounding ball after ball after ball. (That is, after shaving off all facial hair in defiance of this hirsute villain.)

Before you top that 4-iron or skull your rescue club off the adjacent storage building, feel free to name the defenseless, dimpled victims. Bill Parcells. Whaaack. Roberto Luongo. Whaaack. Matt Barnes. Whaaack. Better? Now, how about we throw in the chance to win $1 million?

Feeling your sports pain while raising money for The First Tee of Dallasyouth organization, the City of Dallas is holding its inaugural Million Dollar Hole-In-One contest this week. Here’s the deal: Go to one of the six public courses -- Cedar Crest, Keeton Park, L.B. Houston, Stevens Park, Tenison Highlands or Tenison Glen -- and pay $10 for six shots at a Par 3. The winners -- or closest to the pin -- from each of the courses will amass for the semifinals Saturday at 2 p.m. at Tenison Highlands.

From there, 10 will advance to the ensuing final at hole No. 17, where a hole-in-one would net the lucky and/or talented golfer a cool mill. If there’s not an ace, the player closest to the pin Sunday will win a free pass to any of the city's courses for a year. With a fresh million in our checking account, we might even find some mercy for Dirk Nowitzki. Nah. --Richie Whitt

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