Sports

Rangers Get the Finger. Again.

You gotta love the Texas Rangers. No, seriously, you have to. They need your affection, because going on 35 years of misery and misfortune, someone up there in the most exclusive luxury suite has it in for them. Since 1972 we've been screaming for the Rangers to get some pitching. New general manager Jon Daniels finally acquiesces and acquires ace Kevin Millwood and No. 2 starter Adam Eaton in the off-season. Then yesterday, literally three hours after Daniels pronounced the team's starting rotation as fit and finalized at spring training in Arizona, Eaton strains/tears something called a tendon sheath on, you guessed it, his throwing hand.

And, you guessed it again, it's his middle finger. So a team already picked to finish no better than third in a four-team division now enters the new season Monday without its second-best pitcher for who knows how long. This is the same sad organization, mind you, whose lousy pitching legacy includes Roger Moret falling into a catatonic trance holding a shower shoe, Edwin Correa injuring his elbow flicking sunflower seeds and Kenny Rogers...well, you know that one. Maybe your TLC will help the Rangers' ERA. So give 'em a hug. Someone already gave them the finger. --Richie Whitt

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky