"Sexy vs Skanky." Heh.

Turns out Jessica Simpson may be the Dallas Cowboys' Yoko Romo after all. Consider: Dallas has gone 9-7 since she made her Thanksgiving game debut last season, lost to the Giants in the first round of the '07 playoffs, and watched Tony Romo turn so-so just before he was relegated to the sidelines with a busted widdle pinkie for three games. Which, course, doesn't stop her from talking about her QB boyfriend in the December Cosmo, on stands as of yesterday. The condensed version: blah blah blah. Also: blech. Still, the cover does serve 31 flavors of funny. Oh, oh, oh -- you know what I'm talkin' about. --Robert Wilonsky

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