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Keep Dallas Observer Free
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So, All Things Considered, Would You Trade Places With Tiger Woods?

Fame. Fortune. Females. Ah, the life.

Tiger Woods has it all. Except as of last week, of course, he needs a new driver.

I'd love to hit a 210-yard 6-iron. I'd love to win a Major or 14. Truth to be told, I'd love me some Elin, too. I'd love for my image to be worth 10 times my golf game. I'd love to be the most recognizable sports face on the planet. I'd like not to be not forced to avoid police for three days while I think of a way to twist the truth, but seems like a no-brainer trade-off.

But, I dunno, I also cherish my privacy.

I can be a drunk dork and no one's the wiser. I can run my car into a tree, have some bloodmouth and it won't show up on the nightly news or the daily blogs. I can flirt with a New York hostess and the National Enquirer wouldn't flinch

So I ask you, wouldja?

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Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

In exchange for the perfect golf swing, an immaculate wife and limitless, eternal wealth, would you give up - basically - your life?

Me? No thanks.

I think.

P.S. If I'm innocent of the Enquirer's allegations, I sue. Tiger says "I'm human and I'm not perfect." A couple years ago, however, he told an Irish newspaper that was lying about his wife: "I'm suing."

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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