Um, so Green Peridot Salon co-owner Daniel Lewis totally took over the drama on Shear Genius last night. It all started when, after having won immunity in last week’s challenge, he also got the privilege of choosing his client first for the shortcut challenge … which actually was a short cut. He chose “a big fuzzy frizzball” that he wanted to turn “sassy, cute and fab.” But he had to choose the order in which the other stylists would pick their clients. Thinking that people would assume he was choosing based on how much he liked the other cutters, Daniel called it “possibly one of [his] worst nightmares.” I’m just going to go out on a limb here, but I’m thinking that’s a rather strong statement.
Daniel went randomly and chose fellow Dallas boy and former Best of Dallas™ winner Matthew Tully fifth. Then something weird happened. As Matt approached the clients, mentor Rene Fris -- who, by the way, is in serious need of subtitles and nipple warmers, as his constant headlights are truly unbelievable -- said, “Just the hair. Don’t touch anything else” and wagged his finger. Matt looked insulted, then stone-faced. Leaving that in was an odd editing choice for sure.
The episode’s guest judge was Tabitha, the bleached-blond bitch and fan favorite from Season One. She called Matthew’s short bob “definitely more modern-looking” but selected Charlie’s Mia Farrow ’do as the shortcut challenge winner. Matt didn’t agree: “There was nothing soft and beautiful and … feminine about it.”
The gang drank and ragged on Tabitha and then woke up to find a bowl of numbered oranges at breakfast. Matt came onto the scene a bit late and grabbed orange No. 11. He comments about getting such a high number pretty much guaranteed a loss and that he wouldn’t be seeing everyone again. Glenn put right out there that she’d like to see Matt go home next; “I don’t think he has much to bring to the table except a lot of bitchin’ and moanin’” It’s a bit harsh based on what we’ve seen.
As you may have guessed -- and I feared -- the challenge was making over the cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County. When the ladies were revealed, Daniel almost fainted: “I don’t know if I have ever been so excited in my entire life.” He randomly “woo!”-ed and shook and admitted that he had a dress-up party for the last episode, when Lauri got married. He even served apps. “I cried. I laughed. It was great!” Right.
Anyway, Daniel’s orange led him to Kara (Jeana’s daughter, if that means anything to you), but then Charlie stole her (a reward from the shortcut challenge) and Daniel ended up with Megan. Again, if you know, you know. Matt scored Quinn, who had a good head of hair on her. It was all very loud and dramatic thanks to control-freak Vicki and star-struck Daniel: “Somebody get Vicki a Xanax!”
We only saw Matthew at work in the background, but in the end he was safe along with Daniel; both are neither bottom nor top three. Matthew gave Quinn lots of body and a softer cut as requested, and Daniel gave Megan a bit of the indie rock fringe. Good and good.
Then the real shit hit. During the elimination ceremony, Daniel broke down in tears. When prompted by Jaclyn Smith, he explained through the tears, “Everybody’s just so good, and I’ve just gotten so close with everybody.” Others were affected (Matt bent over, hands on knees, head down), but Charlie wasn’t havin’ it: “Daniel’s like, totally losing it crying. I was like, ‘Girl, the Oscars are over, baby. I know you wanna win Best Supporting Actress, but, reeeeally.’” Parker was shorn from the herd.
But, oh, the preview. Next week appears to be Matt’s week, but whether that’s good or bad is hard to say. He does have an interesting quote: “How’s it goin’ over there, Charlie? ... Bitch.” Nicole offers, “Matt was really trying to mess with our heads.” That could be funny pranks or mind games. Hard to say until then. We do know for sure there will be “drunk prom queen” hair, mischievous grins from Matthew and more star-struck freak-outs from Daniel: “I shook when I saw her because she’s so spectacular.” Oh the drama. Someone make me a cocktail and fetch me my caftan. Mama needs a rest. --Merritt Martin