“Sooner than Later,” She Says. Riiiight.

If you’re keeping score at home, the proper gift for a 2-year anniversary is cotton — though, says here, china’s a great modern-day alternative for those looking to drop a little more coin. Us, we’re waiting till the 3-year mark before purchasing gifts — that’s the leather anniversary, by the way, but used BMWs also make a nice gift, we hear, so long as you earn them (with the leather, one assumes). Silk follows; then comes wood, does it ever. Congratulations to all! And they said it wouldn’t last. –Robert Wilonsky