DFW Music News

Styx = Dicks

Styx pisses off its No. 1 fan, so how many does that leave--not counting their mothers?

In our never-ending search to cover the vast expanse of the DFW music scene, we stumbled upon this item about, uh, Styx. Normally, we would sooner French-kiss some unsavory character like, say, Bill Parcells than give two poops about Styx, but during hours of extensive research geared toward previewing their upcoming gig at Billy Bob's, we found out the following:

Some poor guy (we assume it's a guy -- do you know any female Styx fans?) started up a Web site called www.styxnet.com. The site consists of updated information on the lame-ass solo releases of various members of Styx, plus info on upcoming TV appearances (there are more than you think) and links to amazon.com, where you can buy said lame solo release, and a link to Styx' (Styx's?) official Web site. This guy has had his site up for 10 years, "serving the online Styx community since 1996."

In other words, this misguided lover of "Come Sail Away" is the last person on earth to care about this band, and certainly the last to promote their projects online.

You'd think Styx would be happy about that. You'd think they would be grateful that they still have fans, and that at least one of them was bringing their new crappy albums to people's attention, for free, no less, as well as touting their old material and making it easy for the online Styx community to purchase all things Styx (Styxian?).

Instead, according to the cat who runs the Styxnet site, "[W]hen I came home from work on Monday, July 24, 2006, and found a letter waiting for me that had been mailed overnight and dated July 18, 2006. My wife had already opened the letter seeing that it was from a lawyer, but before I could even open it and read it she proclaimed from the other room, 'Styx is suing you!' Go here and scroll down to find the link to the actual letter.

WTF?! Can you imagine anything suckier than getting sued by Styx? For trying to help them? For free?!

We highly encourage you, the music-loving public, to go home and burn all your Styx albums...oh wait, you don't have any, BECAUSE THEY SUCK! At first we were enamored of the concept of checking out a once-popular prog-rock band from the '80s in the context of the world's largest honky-tonk. Now, were not wasting the gas to go check out those douchebags. Instead, screw it, we're going home and listening to Kansas. --Jonanna Widner

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Patrick Williams is editor-in-chief of the Dallas Observer.
Contact: Patrick Williams

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