What the friggin' what?!
Last time I saw Jimmy Johnson on Survivor he was ordering her to fetch water and him to cut down trees and those guys to catch some fish and the rest to build a bridge from Nicaragua to Key West so he could home and drink some cold Heinekens. He had his team way under control.
But last night I'm at Adair's 'round closing time and somebody mentions, "Hey, you hear they voted off Jimmy?"
But yep, sure enough, Johnson on Wednesday night was the third "player" booted from the game when his old-ass teammates unanimously voted him off. I can't stomach to go back and watch the entire episode, but apparently Jimmy wasn't able to lead his team to a victory in some non-nonsensical barrel-rolling contest on the beach.
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Others - led by that scheming Marty character - took the defeat as a chance to overthrow Johnson's dictatorship before it was too late.
"I had fun, but I was miserable the whole time," Johnson said in his exit interview. "I still love the game, and it's been a great adventure. This is the most stressful time I've ever gone through in my life, and I'm including Super Bowls and collegiate national championships. I initially said, 'Keep your strongest members.' I obviously wasn't one of the strongest members."
Yeah, but what about the mind controlling the body and the body controlling the torch and all that?
Oh well, thanks Survivor for a riveting run. You had me for three weeks. I won't be back for a fourth.