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Ted Cruz, deep in thought
Ted Cruz, deep in thought
Ted Cruz via YouTube

Ted Cruz Doesn’t Get Global Warming or Twitter

CNN hosted a series of climate-focused town halls Wednesday, starring 10 Democratic presidential candidates. You're forgiven if you didn't tune in. The forums ran seven hours, were moderated by CNN's less-than-stellar anchor staff and had way more talk about banning plastic straws than anyone needs to listen to.

One person who was listening — or at least paying attention after the fact — was Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, a deeply unfunny man who never met a leaden joke he didn't love.

Thursday, Cruz decided to play the role of sore winner, lobbing a grenade at former U.S. Rep. Beto O'Rourke, Cruz's opponent in Texas' 2018 Senate race, after O'Rourke told a story about his son telling him that their family might have to leave their home in El Paso due to climate change. 

Let's dispense with Cruz's apparent claim first. Land-locked areas have plenty to fear from climate change, whether it's extreme flooding in the Midwest or extreme heat and drought in the South and Southwest. El Paso residents have literally had to drink treated sewage water because the Rio Grande is drying up. These things are obvious, even in Cruz's own state.

Not to Cruz, though. 

Thankfully, Twitter was there, and quickly, to dunk on Cruz in the thread that followed his "joke."

There were jabs about Cruz being a lizard person, as well as obligatory references to that time his account liked a porn tweet.

Many pointed out that global warming makes things hot, sometimes unbearably hot, and contributes to forest fires.

Comedian Tim Heidecker made things easy for Cruz, highlighting the CNN chyron that was on the screen when O'Rourke made his remarks about potentially no longer being able to live in El Paso. 

El Paso's geography might've escaped Cruz, but it didn't escape Twitter.

User @Tia_Arizona compared Cruz, unfavorably, with President Donald Trump, while @WinkleBerns dug deep for a Billy Madison reference.

For your own sake Senator Cruz, just stay off the internet.

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