Thank you, Dave Navarro, Thank You

� Danny Moloshok/Blue Pixel for MBP 2006
If we wanted our rock stars to be boring, Patrice, we'd listen to Radiohead.

Last night's Rock Star: Supernova was a lesson in feisty dialogue with co-host Dave Navarro. The guy was definitely showing some post-break-up angst when he exchanged his usual sticky-sweet demeanor for some sucker punches...and two were directed at Dallas babes Zayra Alvarez and Patrice Pike. And rightfully so.

While Alvarez, dressed as a femme-bot astronaut (Navarro quipped, "You're ready for inner planetary travel, honey."), butchered Blondie's "Call Me"--an incredibly difficult sing, so why the hell did the pitch-challenged vamp pick it?--Jason Newsted wiped his brow with a comical grimace and Gilby Clarke smiled like a hyena trying not to laugh. Then came the rippin' from Navarro: "You know, the past couple weeks has been kinda fun and interesting watching you do your thing. Uh, I don't know if it's right for Supernova and my recommendation to you is to get started on a solo career, like, right now." Clarke added that Alvarez had won him over the week prior but "man, you lost me again." And, of course, Alvarez had to mouth off. "I think I actually did great," she said turning to the audience. "What do you guys think? Did you enjoy that?" Well, Z, since you were in the bottom three of the worldwide vote at show's end, I guess not.

Then came Patrice Pike. She pulled off a well-sung but very predictable version of the Black Crowe's "Remedy." (Super big yawn.) Her vocal antics smelled strongly, to any one around back then, of Little Sister's old number "Drift Away." Tommy Lee, looking like a rode-hard version of Liza a la Cabaret in a little black hat and vest, appeared appropriately bored. Then came the rippin' from Navarro: "All right, Patrice. I'm just not seeing anything different and frankly, I'm getting a little bored. You got a 13-week audition here, all right? Change it up from week to week, otherwise, you are wasting this opportunity."

"Do you do a lot of different things on stage when you perform, Dave?" countered the tiny, pissed-off but smiling Pike. Second rippin': "Uh, yeah, but see, the difference is that I have a job and I'm not auditioning." Ouch. Oohs and aahs ensued. Clarke tried to soften the blow with, "We need a leader. This is your warning."

Well, I still stand by my final three prediction of Houston gal Dilana.--Merritt Martin

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Patrick Williams is editor-in-chief of the Dallas Observer.
Contact: Patrick Williams