That’s a Bubble Wrap®!

A 9-year-old from Richardson came up with this invention. Oh, like you could do better. Most of the time, when I tell people what I do -- which is, make fun of myself and my peers for a living -- people respond with a hearty, "That's so cool! You must...
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A 9-year-old from Richardson came up with this invention. Oh, like you could do better.

Most of the time, when I tell people what I do — which is, make fun of myself and my peers for a living — people respond with a hearty, “That’s so cool! You must love it!” And I do. Oh, yes, I do. But I have a confession to make. Being the Girl On Top is pretty awesome, but it is nothing compared to the three sweet months I spent as a sales associate at MailBoxes, Etc. in high school.

This was before UPS took over, turned every storefront brown and made us wear earth tones to work. No, this was in the MailBoxes, Etc. heyday, and I was free — free to pop as much used Bubble Wrap® as I wanted. Ben Franklin once said that beer is proof that God loves us. I weep for him. If only our illustrious forefather had been around for plastic Bubble Wrap®, I feel sure he would have changed his tune. There is nothing more satisfying than the airy POP! of burst Bubble Wrap.

So, while I admire 9-year-old Andy Boler of Richardson for becoming a semi-finalist in the Sealed Air Bubble Wrap® Competition for Young Inventors, all I really want to do is get my hands on his “Bubble Wrap Plant Shelters” and squeeze the protective air pockets right out of them. As a recently received press release gushes, these contraptions “create a light-weight, collapse-able (sic) shelter that protects outdoor plants from the winter cold.”

Attention, Bubble Wrap® publicist: Feel free to send me a sample of the plant shelters. There are a lot of outdoor plants I don’t own in the yard I don’t have that need to be protected from the cold, winter air that’s never going to get here. –Andrea Grimes

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