With the Rangers over and the Mavs resting and the Stars playing a meaningless hockey game - ugh, is there an uglier phrase in the English language? - I flipped around DirecTV for a moment last night before wondering aloud:
If I had my choice, who would I watch right now?
Then I answered myself. With a list.
9. Murray Hewitt - Flight of the Conchords manager conducts the worst/best beend meeting in the history of "music."
8. Peter Gammons - I'm not a seam-head, but whenever ESPN's analyst speaks about baseball I stop and listen. He lives for that shit. man, I wished I loved anything half as much as Gammons loves baseball. Plus, I'm fascinated how much he looks like Andrew Jackson, the face of our $20 bill.
7. Mary Carillo - I find her passion and knowledge and ability to communicate tennis to be very arousing. No kidding.
6. Dale Hansen - Whether he's unplugged or applying the Q&A taser to Jerry Jones, Channel 8's icon sports anchor is the closest thing we have to must-see local TV.
5. George Stephanopoulos - He is ... the most interesting man in the world. I don't always watch politics, but when I do I watch This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Stay politcal, my friends.
4. Glenn Beck - I know the Fox News Channel host's tears are more fake than professional wrestling, but I ... can't ... look ... away.
3. Jon Stewart - His Daily Show perspective, common sense and rubber-face expressions make even today's gloomy news gleeful.
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2. Katie Morgan - I find her
passion and knowledge and ability to communicate stark, delicious nudity on HBO's show about something-or-other to be very arousing. Double no-kidding.
1. Peter Griffin -
1. Peter Griffin -Don't try to emulate the ultimate Family Guy. Unless you want to be awesome.