The Salvation Army Reaps From Zeke, Yard Decorations Scare Police, Jim Schuzte Ponders Christmas: The Week in Review

We know you're busy, so here's a more festive than usual roundup of this week's news from the Dallas Observer.

Elliott's Kettle Jump Touchdown Celebration Spurs Spike in Salvation Army Donations
Since the Dallas Cowboy star leapt into that inflatable kettle, the Salvation Army's Red Kettle campaign has raised approximately $850,000 in online donations. They credit him for that — and the NFL isn't fining him, either.

Trial of Garland Cop Who Fired 41 Shots at Fleeing Suspect Ends With Hung Jury
The officer emptied his gun twice, but other officers on the scene didn't shoot at all.

Dallas Reporter Kurt Eichenwald Files Complaint Over Seizure Image from Trump Fan
Here's the inside story of the local author who says Trump supporters gave him a seizure by sending him a strobe-pulsing image designed to cause seizure in people with epilepsy.

The Best News Photos of the Year
Relive the highs and lows, the triumphs and tragedies, with selections of our favorite photos.

Weekly Schutze

This is more a matter of physics almost, quantum mechanics or something like that, where I pose the question: Is there a theoretical limit beyond which Christmas can no longer expand? At some point, like a supernova, must Christmas fall back in upon itself with such enormous gravitational force, like a black hole in space, that the day itself must disappear from view? In that horrible event, would the length of the year then be only 351 days?

—Jim Schutze, from Ever-Expanding Christmas Risks Theoretical Collapse Into Black Hole

Horse's Mouth

Same Time, Different Storm

Someone's Not Scared of the Security Camera
"On November 16, 2016 at about 1:30 a.m., the suspect pictured below burglarized a vehicle in the 10800 block of Ferguson Road," the Dallas Police Department reports. "Anyone who recognizes this suspect is asked to contact Detective Winkler of the Northeast Investigative Unit 214-671-0165."

Parting Shot

A holiday-themed false alarm from DPD's police helicopter:

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