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The Sarah Palin Rules

Perhaps you've heard: Not three weeks after her abortion wingding at the Majestic, Sarah Palin's coming back to Dallas on Sunday to sign copies of her book America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag, which went rogue over the weekend. She'll be at the Lincoln Park Barnes & Noble, which just sent over a lengthy list of do's and don'ts in advance of the 6 p.m. signing. So pay attention, Jack. From the guidelines:

We are expecting a very large crowd for this book signing, and in order to accommodate as many people as possible, we ask that you note the following:

• Wristbands will be handed out on a first-come, first-served basis beginning at 9 AM on 11/28/10. You must be present in order to get a wristband.
• You must present your original Barnes & Noble or BarnesnandNoble.com receipt for America by Heart in order to get a wristband.
• Maximum of 2 copies of America By Heart per person will be signed.
• Please make sure a parent or guardian accompanies all minors.
• No photos.
• No personalization of books.
• Customers may only approach signing table with America By Heart.
• No large bags will be allowed through the signing line.
• Cell phones and cameras will have to be turned off and put away before customers approach the signing table.
• Once wristbanded, customers who leave the line for an extended period (i.e. to go to work) will rejoin wristbanded line at its end, wherever that point may be.

Also: Do not look her directly in the eye. Keep her away from sunlight. Do not feed her after midnight. And do not get her wet.

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