Carlos Pena used to be ours. Now he's in the World Series without us. I know, shocking huh?

The Texas Rangers Are in the World Series! Sort Of!

Your Rangers are in the Fall Classic. Not the whole team, mind you, but a couple of Texas exes.

Still can’t believe we’ll be watching the Tampa Bay Rays against the Philadelphia Phillies when the World Series starts tonight at 7 on Fox. Make that, I can’t believe you’ll be watching.

I won’t be. I can’t take it. Can you?

Seeing Tampa’s success is just another reminder of how truly shitty our Rangers have been/are/will be. While the Rays author a worst-to-first fairy tale from 96 losses in ’07 to the WS in ’08, our local baseball team continues to wallow smack dab in the middle of mediocrity and irrelevance.

Thanks to the Rays' magical season, the Rangers are now the only active MLB franchise to have never won a playoff series. Series?! In its illustrious 37-history Texas has won one playoff game. One!

But if you’re a seamhead desperate for a Rangers’ angle in the series, take heart.

The Phillies employ lefty soft-tosser Jamie Moyer – who pitched in Texas for what seems like 30 years ago – and outfielder Matt Stairs. He played 26 games in Arlington in ’06 before the Rangers waived him. Last week, in case you lost track, Stairs smacked the dramatic home run that helped Philly beat the Dodgers in the NLCS.

As for the Rays, you’ll probably remember first baseman Carlos Pena, he of the 31 homers and 102 RBI. Pena, if you recall, was Texas’ first-round pick (10th overall) in the ’98 draft. He played briefly for the Rangers at the end of ’01 before being traded to Oakland along with Mike Venafro in exchange for catcher Gerald Laird, now-Cardinals' slugger Ryan Ludwick and never-weres Jason Hart and Mario Ramos.

I would provide a detailed, insightful World Series preview but as a Rangers fan, it’s too painful. And as an adrenalin fan, it’s too damn boring. – Richie Whitt

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