Tony Romo Gets Six-Year, $69 Million Contract Extension. Sixty-Nine. Heh.

Hell of a day for Tony Romo: First comes the news that he's getting lap dances from Britney Spears (and, really, so can you at this point). Now, ESPN.com's reporting that the Dallas Cowboys' hot-shit QB has been offered "a six-year, $69 million contract extension, $31 million which is guaranteed, according to sources." Press conference is expected to roll around at 10 a.m. tomorrow, during which Jerry will hand him his $31 mil entirely in singles. Man's gotta be prepared. --Robert Wilonsky

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