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!Viva Los Vaqueros!

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Was that the Twilight Zone or Telemundo? Either way, the Cowboys' utter dismantling of the defending NFC Champion Chicago Bears was bizarre, shocking and, let’s face it, delicious. 13-10? Maybe. 34-10? Pinch me.

In Dallas a 3-0 start means the Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl. While in Chicago, a loss at Soldier Field during which the defense dissolves into the consistency of poached eggs means the Bears are destined for .500. Give credit to Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, who abandoned running plays on first down and instead attacked Chicago’s vaunted defense. And give credit to Tony Romo, who is morphing into the elementary school kid you hated because you … could … just … never … quite … catch him during games of Tag.

Last year’s administration wouldn’t have had the cojones to throw against Chicago. And last year’s quarterback probably would’ve left the stadium on crutches instead of Cloud 9. NBC blowhard John Madden actually said it best: “In a one-on-one situation with a blitzer, Rex Grossman gets sacked. In a one-on-one situation with a blitzer, Tony Romo’s still playing football.”

Don’t look now -- well, yeah, go ahead and peek ahead -- but the Cowboys are now staring at two easy wins over the pathetic Rams and Bills before what should be an October 14 showdown against the New England Patriots. By then maybe Gustavo can ‘splain last night’s Cinco de Mayo-ish extracurricular events in Chicago and on NBC. Gloria Estefan? Ozomatli at halftime? Fútbol Americano graphics? (And this Madden 08 ad must have driven them crazy in Farmers Branch.)

Looked in my At-A-Glance, and the only remarkable thing about September 23 was “Autumn begins.” Hmmm. I know this is Hispanic Heritage Month and all, but come on. You think Bruce Springsteen gets invited to play halftime of the Cruz Azul v. Toluca soccer match in Tijuana? --Richie Whitt

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