Wise-ass Blood

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with...?

Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in—gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with occasional commentary from the Mexican. Enjoy!

If you're half-Mexican and:

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-black: black beans, blaxican, choco-taco, Negrexican

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America's worst nightmare

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, combination plate, Mexinese, rice 'n' beans

Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla

Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino

Half-Flemish: Fletino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, gabaxicano, Güerexican, mixican, whispanic, white bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)

Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa

Half-honky: Chichonky

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale

Half-Indian (the American kind): Navajole

Half-Irish: Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner

Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese

Half-Jewish: jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Korexican

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)

Half-Portuguese: Pork and beans

Half-redneck: rednexican, redback, wetneck

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half-Scotch: McRiguez

Half-Turk: Turxican

Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself "spam." A Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that Dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is "anus" in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:

How about an American, like all of us mutts?

Don't see your nickname? E-mail me at THEMEXICAN@ASKAMEXICAN.NET, and I'll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished Web page!

 
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