What a Dick

My March Madness bracket has long been in shambles. But my pick to win it all - UConn - is alive, well and poised to win the title next weekend in Detroit.

If you called Michigan State over Louisville, kudos. If you predicted UConn, Villanova, North Carolina and the Spartans as your Final Four, your powers creep me out a little bit.

Turned on ESPN this morning for some rehash and some insight. I wanted to hear from an expert about how we got here and what we can expect. I wanted some x's, some o's and a basketall jonesing breakdown of the impending national semifinals.

Instead, I got Dick Vitale.

And I quote:

"Well, ya know I think the team that basically can knock off the Tar Heels in a Goliath matchup - it's going to be I think North Carolina and Connecticut - my pre-season No.1 and my pre-season No. 2. Connecticut certainly has the weapons. A.J. Price certainly can score. Thabeet inside making it tough for Hansborough. And then you think about Stanley Robinson's athletic ability. They can create problems. But saying all that, I think when it's all said and done North Carolina, these four players came back to school - Green, Lawson, Hansborough and that whole gang, Ellington - for one reason, to cut the nets down and I think that's gonna happen. I think North Carolina celebrates. (insert over-emphatic hand gesticulation and sudden yelling) THEY GO BACK TO THEIR HOTEL AND THEY LISTEN TO A LITTLE MOTOWN SOUND! FOUR TOPS! THE TEMPTATIONS! DIANA ROSS! THEY LISTEN, YES TO SMOKEY ROBINSON! AND IT ROCKS AND ROLLS BABY, DOWN ON FRANKLIN STREET! THE HEELS TO WIN THE NATIONAL TITLE! ALL NIGHT LONG, BABY! ALL NIGHT LONG!!"


Swear I never "got" Vitale. I appreciate his passion. But doesn't his screaming siren style merely mask the fact that his analysis is totally void of substance?

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