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What Did We Ever Do Before Jessica?

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Pardon me this morning while I now turn to issues most serious and pressing, judging by the e-mails awaiting my return to the office; and here I thought we'd end the year on a solemn note. Turns out, it's all about the Jessica: A local film publicist sends word this morning that Yoko Romo's latest movie, Blonde Ambition, opens at select local theaters tomorrow before getting shipped directly to video stores and single-engine prop planes. Should you need to see the movie, which also stars Luke Wilson (oh, Luke) and Shotgun Willie, try the Hollywood USA Movies 15 in Garland, the Vista Ridge Movies 8 in Lewisville or the Movies 10 in Plano. But, really, why? Do you hate your eyes?

Also, notes another Friend, Tony Romo's latest galpal gets a tee-hee mention ("By the sounds of it, the man needs no mistletoe") in the latest NFL Network promo -- those Joe Montana-owns-a-diner spots that have gotten progressively funnier with each passing week. And, if nothing else, Simpson's relationship with Romo now allows us to know where she is at all times, which is good, because someone needs to keep track of that girl. Like, yesterday, she was at a local Pancake House with Mom and Dad. And someone's got the pics to prove it. In related news, the end of the year cannot get here soon enough. --Robert Wilonsky

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