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What's a Little Human Excrement Between Fellow Prisoners ... I Mean, Passengers?

Well, this would have gotten her to Dallas faster than a real American Airlines plane.
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Catherine Ray says American Airlines held her prisoner. No shit -- "false imprisonment" is among the myriad charges the Arkansas woman makes in a lawsuit filed last week, in which she wants AA to pay up for keeping her on an airplane in December 2006, as she tried to make her way from Oakland to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport but wound up stuck on the tarmac in Austin for 13 hours.

Ray's trying to get the suit elevated to class-action status; so, ya know, if you know anyone else stuck on Flight 1008 on December 29, 2006 ... Also listed among her charges: negligence and breach of contract. Never a good sign: Ray alleges the Fort Worth carrier's decision to keep the plane on the tarmac for 13 hours caused the plane to become "filthy and intolerable from human excrement." --Robert Wilonsky

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