Says here that on August 22 at Mountain View College, the American Basketball Association's Dallas Generals will hold it final tryouts and a combine -- seriously, the ABA returneth? Dunno how we missed it, and I've yet to find mention made anywhere else, but at the end of May, the ABA announced that the Dallas Generals would indeed enter the resurrected league (in 2000) with an expansion franchise. The Generals -- owned by Keio Gamble and his Monopoly Entertainment -- will be in the Southwest Conference (or is it Division? Hard to say), along with the Houston Takers (that name, ugh), the North Texas Fresh out of Fort Worth (and double-ugh), the Shreveport Stallions, the Southeast Texas Mustangs from Beaumont, the Texas Fuel outta San Antone and Midland's West Texas Whirlwinds. Oh, and teams from Austin and Juarez, yet to be named.
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Dallas has already signed its first player: the slam-dunkifying Taurian Fontenette, otherwise known as "Air Up There," and he's got the video highlights to prove it. But if you'd like to join him, be warned: Tryouts will cost you $100 if you pre-register, and an extra $20 if you wait till August 22. And, sure, you get a shirt -- I'd like one -- but you can get a Dallas Chaparrals patch for $9.95 if you're still suffering withdrawals 36 years after Dallas lost its first ABA franchise to San Antonio. Still, the Generals do promise never to trade you for a washing machine.