Yes, But Will They Be Paid in Ones?

Plenty of folks have wondered how the city will fill the Cotton Bowl to justify the $57-million makeover. Um, three words: Lingerie Football League. After all, we do have our very own franchise, says the official league Web site — the Dallas Desire! Dunno much about them, as the Seattle squad — the Mist, no kidding — was the first LFL, uh, team to hold tryouts over the weekend. Don’t know who’s going to own the team or where they’ll play; all we know for sure is what they’ll wear, which ain’t much — a sorta-helmet, pads and what appear to be fancy panties in which players will have the chance to make … $40,000 a year? Dallas’s squad — which, one imagines, will be coached entirely by Jimmy Johnson-era Dallas Cowboys — will play in the Western Conference, along with the Mist, the Los Angeles Temptation, Phoenix Scorch and the San Diego Seduction. The economy? Dunno what you’re talking about. –Robert Wilonsky