4
| Sports |

Your 2014 Texas Rangers Nicknames

^
Keep Dallas Observer Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

Our 2013 Best of Dallas award winner, and Observer writer, Michael "Grubes" Gruber, is renowned for nicknaming Rangers players. In fact, if you follow him on Twitter (@tweetgrubes) like thousands of other people do, then his Diamond Tweets covering the Rangers games are largely incomprehensible without extensive knowledge of the nicknames.

So, here is your Rangers nickname cheat sheet. Follow Grubes on Twitter for the season's first Diamond Tweet, mourn the loss of Lake Dad and Kitten Face, and join us here on Unfair Park for a live blog from the Ballpark With A Scary And Weird New Name. Without further ado, here's Grubes.

*****

Hello, everyone! My name is Michael "Grubes" Gruber and the list below contains my nicknames for the 2014 version of your Texas Rangers. Why the hell is this being published here, you ask? I really don't know, either. But I do know that it's a fun little thing that brings merth and merriment to (some) Texas Rangers fans who follow me on Twitter at @tweetgrubes. I've been doing these nicknames since the 2010 season, when I determined that the now-departed Craig Gentry looks like a cat and thereafter was dubbed Kitten Face. Most of these nicknames are pretty self-explanatory, but if you don't understand them...just think on it a little more and all will be revealed.

Neal Cotts - Big Hairy Cotts Yu Darvish - Yupy Jason Frasor - Dr. Frasor Crane Neftali Feliz - Happy Matt Harrison - Harry, Andrea Kremer Derek Holland - Dutch Oven Colby Lewis - Colbra, Lumberjack Alexi Ogando - Easter Island Golf Ball Face (EIGBF) Nick Martinez - Nick Pantaloons, Little Nicky Joe Ortiz - Guillermo (Kimmel Show), Fat Joe Lefty Atlantic Martin Perez - Perez Dispenser Seth Rosin - Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express Robbie Ross - Sheriff, The Teeth Joe Saunders - Not The Golfer (NTG) Tanner Scheppers - Red Hot Chili Scheppers, RHCS Joakim Soria - Cirque Du Soria Nick Tepesch - Tepesch Mode Shawn Tolleson - Nestle, Troll Tolleson

JP Arencibia - The Catcher Arencibia Robinson Chirinos - Honey Nut Chirinos Chris Giminez - Giminez Cricket Geovany Soto - Sotopelle, Sotopillas

Elvis Andrus - Sparkles, Tiny E Adrian Beltre - OS (Oh Sh*t!) Prince Fielder - The Yellow Prince, Captain Badass, The Fielder Currently Known As Prince Mitch Moreland - The Bitch Donnie Murphy - Darkness, DONNIE MURPHEHHHHH!!!!!!! Jurickson Profar - Marlo, Circle Jurickson Josh Wilson - Lunchpail, Unicorn

Jim Aducci - Adebisi Engel Beltre - Engel In The Outfield, Touched By An Engel Michael Choice - Puppy Face Shin-Soo Choo - Choopacabra, Choopie, Pikachoo Leonys Martin - Squidward, Shanaynay Alex Rios - Bread Basket (Jim Bowden claimed chances of acquiring him "smaller than a bread basket." We got him five minutes later), Mantis

Steve Busby - Buzz, Nubber, Just The Tip Jon Daniels - JD, The Jedi Tom Grieve - Cookiepuss Ron Washington - Puff Daddy

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.