Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Mexican: I was in a taco shop in the bathroom stall and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass wipe, I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be foreshadowed by the fact that you and all the dark-skinned Mexis are mosca en la leche — that will never change. And for you to steal the statement “gentle readers” from Miss Manners shows just how unauthentic and uncreative you are. But we realize you are a Mexi; stealing anything is embedded in the genetic code of your dirty culture. Roger Hedgecock’s Biggest Fan
Dear Gabacho: Your mom didn’t teach you to wipe properly; you just smeared this column with your intellectual caca. And Judith Martin didn’t invent the “gentle readers” shtick. Hell, Jonathan Swift was dropping that couplet in Gulliver’s Travels. I realize you’re a gabacho: Getting basic history and insults wrong is embedded in the genetic code of that raza‘s more pendejo members.
Let me start by telling you that, like yourself, I’m a proud mexicana, and how glad I am that someone educated like you is trying to educate Know Nothings about things they think they know. My concern is this: I am a DREAMer, and I have come across so many stupid people who think they know what’s best for us. I have heard that it’s never gonna pass, that we’re just wasting our time, blah blah blah! What can I say to these Know Nothings to make them understand that all we’re asking for is a chance at what many of them have refused: a chance to go to college and have a good paying job, and/or a chance to serve in the military?
An Orgullosa DREAMer Mexicana
Dear Proud Mexican DREAMer: Actually, I’m a mexicano, not a mexicana — not that there’s anything wrong with that! As for what you can tell Know Nothings to make them understand your situation … they never will. Instead, tell them “I told you so” by showing all the accomplishments undocumented youth have notched — college degrees, businesses, making your plight a national issue so big that President Obama has issued a stay on any deportations for ustedes (which is at least a start) — while supposedly powerless. Are these not the types of Americans we want? If you’re supposed to make lemonade when life throws you lemons, DREAMers have created a taquiza out of nothing — and if Know Nothings want to ignore and demonize that, then they deserve the beautiful half-Mexican grandchild that’s coming their way pronto.
