Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Mexican: My question is simple: Can you please confirm the
fact that there are doctors, lawyers and other professionals living in
Mexico? I’m a Mexican-American woman living in Chicago who had a HEATED
discussion about that topic. My friend, who is a teacher at a local
school, was of the opinion that there really aren’t any. Her point was
when we see immigrants on television, none are doctors, lawyers or any
other professionals, for that matter. She believes that the only
wealthy Mexicans are drug lords. There seems to be a lot of ignorance
and confusion about this topic. Please enlighten her and those who
think like her.
—Incensed in Chicago
Dear Brazer: Por supuesto there are doctors, lawyers,
accountants, scientists and other professionals in Mexico—who do
you think sews up the narcos after a gun battle, fights off
American extradition efforts, launders their money and devises
nuevas ways to smuggle?
Why do all Mexican restaurant workers cram the napkin dispensers
so full that you can’t possibly remove a napkin without a pair of
pliers?
—Messy Eater
Dear Gabacho: It’s called “refilling a napkin dispenser.”
Something I’ve never understood about other Mexicans, as I am
one…when speaking to other Mexicans about higher education and its
importance, they always interrupt me to place an emphasis on the
associates degree. I’ve wanted to slap a
primo/prima/amigo silly. Why the low standard? I’ve
asked educators about this before and been told it was a low
achievement standard that was placed on Mexican-American students in
the 1960s and 1970s by mainly high school counselors. True?
—Párate and Deliver
Dear Wab: Instead of giving your primo/prima/amigo a
cachetada, why don’t you help them transfer to a four-year
university? Heaven knows America needs more of its Mexicans at
institutes of higher learning—on top of our abysmal high school
graduation rates, not enough of us go on to get a college diploma. Why
the low standard? Ignorance, silly! Not just limited to Know Nothings!
Oh, and I don’t think there was a widespread gabacho counselor
conspiracy in the 1960s to funnel Mexicans of that generation into
community college—most encouraged their charges to not bother
with education, period.
Why are Mexicans so…laid-back?
—Crazy and Lazy
Dear Gabacho: Mañana, mañana. Que
será, será. Mexicans sleeping under a cactus. All
iconic American commentaries on our inherent relaxed nature. La
verdad is Mexicans are more neurotic than Woody Allen’s on-screen
persona—and if you don’t believe me, you try living life
avoiding la migra or knowing that if white teens in a
Pennsylvania hick town murder you, they’ll get off with simple
assault.
I recently worked security at a Tumbleweeds concert here in
Albuquerque. I guess they are a very popular musical group with the
Mexicans, but anyway: As I was checking IDs and letting people into the
beer area, I noticed that almost all of the Mexican guys held onto
their wives’/girlfriends’/lady friends’ IDs. The women don’t hold their
own IDs, the guys hold them, show them, then put the ID back into their
own wallet. What’s up with that? I asked a co-worker about this, and
she told me it’s a power thing. So what’s the deal?
—Curious Gringo
Dear Gabacho: Could be a power-trip macho thing, but probably is
that the chica didn’t want to carry a purse and would rather let
her man carry the ID than stick it between her chichis.
Sometimes, Mexicans aren’t rocket science.
