Eat This

Creamy Bastard Puts Breakfast in an Ice Cream Sandwich -- and Soon, on a Food Truck

Trolling Yelp one night in search of ice cream near my apartment, I came across a listing for Creamy Bastard (no relation to our own beloved Cheap Bastard, although I'm sure Alice is creamy in her own right).  

Reviewers touted it as the best frozen custard around, but there was no address or even a phone number listed. My curiosity and sweet tooth both thoroughly aroused, I stalked the place via Facebook and emailed to inquire.  

Owner Melanie Orris responded with a menu of innovative flavors, from Elderflower, Meyer Lemon and Calvados custards to Ginger-Watermelon and Cantaloupe-Orange Blossom sorbets.

Two days later, Melanie herself was at my front door, delivering my order from her cute VW Bug (deliveries are free within Dallas city limits).  This stuff isn't cheap at $12 a pint, but it is damn good.

Especially that number up there.

First, though: The Double Valrhona Chocolate Espresso Bean, which was insanely creamy (and fattening, no doubt -- frozen custard differs from ice cream with the addition of more egg yolks). It's sweet and milk chocolate-y with chunks of chocolate-covered espresso beans distributed throughout. Here it is:  

So fattening. So delicious.

The piece de resistance, though, is the Maple Bacon Waffle frozen custard sandwich at top.Two crispy gaufrettes (French wafer cookies embossed with a fancy design) surround a layer of custard that tastes like waffles soaked in sweet maple syrup, then the sides are rolled in crispy, salty crumbled bacon. t's everything wonderful and caloric about breakfast rolled into a handheld frozen dessert.  At $7.50 it's probably the most expensive ice cream sandwich I've ever eaten, but it looks like it's going to take me about three munchies sessions to get through the whole thing. (Annihilating the whole thing at one time would register approximately a 6.2 on the Food Shame Scale.)

Creamy Bastard uses local milk from Lavon Farms in Plano, plus organic ingredients whenever possible and premium liqueurs like Calvados and St. Germain. They plan to launch a food truck sometime this year.

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Whitney Filloon