Dallas police Chief Eddie Garcia joined the force in early February. He's from San Jose, California, and was born in Puerto Rico. As you can see above, last night he had an “event” that left him hungry, so he went to Whataburger
to “see what the hype is all about. First Whataburger experience.”
He took time to set the stage, propped up the bag, had the game on in the background — Houston Astros at Oakland, a nod to his home state, we assume. He's in law enforcement, so we doubt he rooted for the Astros. Cops generally don't like criminal gangs.
It all falls apart on the plate with his photo of the food: two dry patties topped by a few pickles and what was left at the bottom of the lettuce bin. That’s it.
Was this an April Fool's joke? Maybe? We can only hope.
Lauren Drewes Daniels/Twitter
No bun. No cheese. No mayo, mustard, jalapeño ranch or spicy ketchup. Why no bacon or grilled jalapeños? That’s low-carb, right? It’s like going into Heim Barbecue, only ordering onion rings then tweeting, “Texas barbecue is broken.”
We don’t want to be arrogant locals and say he did it all wrong, but HE DID IT ALL WRONG. We also don't want to accuse the chief of intentional sabotage, but he did arrive here from California, so ... you know. He's one of them. In-And-Out worshipper, we bet. It's like a cult with those people.
To be fair, Garcia didn't tweet any damning words about Whataburger. He was probably too sad.
Chief, next time you try a new place, let the server order for you. Just last night I tried a new spot and pretended I was new around here and had no idea what to get. It's a delicious tactic. The people who know the menu best are excited to woo you.
Dallasites on Twitter
responded to the chief with empathy. VIVA replied with, “Pobre hamburguesa,” which is probably the most fitting.
Someone, please, take Chief Garcia to a Whataburger and make this right.
And I don’t want to be a hater, but a paper plate?