H-E-B said, "Hold my tortilla," and decided everyone (or a lot of people anyway) should pack warm butter tortillas in their carry-on luggage.
On Friday at 10:30 a.m., a crew from H-E-B rolled up to the San Antonio International Airport (terminal A, departure gates) to hand out 5,000 warm, buttery tortillas. Yes, they went through the TSA pre-check.
Passengers heading to Phoenix, Denver, San Francisco and New York were given tortillas, and we're wondering if those folks will really appreciate what they've got.
Do out-of-staters even know how to get the best out of those tortillas? Do they know first you should heat a griddle (or any flat pan) and throw a pat of butter on it, and then cook the tortillas for about 15 seconds on each side? The orbs will rise and puff from steam, full of the spirit of the good lord — or satan, one or the other. Hints of golden crispiness from the hot butter will dot the tortilla, sort of like the first light of the morning sun touching slender blades of grass (sodded St. Augustine, of course) on a gentle summer morning.
We recommend playing "Just Call Me Angel of the Morning" by Juice Newton to set the mood.
You think New Yorkers get that?
That's fine. Maybe they'll figure it out.
Hey, if the only good we Texans can do for the country right now is spread the good word of H-E-B butter tortillas (and kill screwworms), then we're here for it.
H-E-B encourages flyers to swing by one of their grocery stores before heading to the airport to continue the tradition of delivering soft, warm tortillas to other parts of the country. TSA allows food in either carry-on or checked baggage.
