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McDonald's Announces Return of McRib, Then Just Like Keyser Söze, Poof ... It'll Be Gone

McDonalds says it's bringing back the McRib on Halloween, after which it'll just disappear. No one will ever see one again. It'll just become a myth.
McDonalds says it's bringing back the McRib on Halloween, after which it'll just disappear. No one will ever see one again. It'll just become a myth. Patrick Michaels
The McRib is the Keyser Söze of mass-produced pork sandwiches. When McDonald's releases the come-and-go menu item, the company's marketing team puts it in front of you as often as possible. Posters are taped to the restaurant windows, and tantalizing commercials appear everywhere.

Then just when you've developed a taste for it and are craving another, you can't find it. Was it even real? Is the McRib Turkish or was his father really German? Was the McRib ever really there? That is power.

McDonald's announced on Twitter that on Halloween it's bringing back its most elusive item since the riot-inducing Szechuan Sauce, or the more recent eBay-busting adult happy meals. Mickey D's always touts it as a limited-time deal, but this time the fast food giant claims "this is its farewell tour."

There are few things in this world that can cause a Tweetstorm like the McRib. The pork shoulder sandwich gets only a semi-seasonal release that seems to happen exactly at the point when we collectively stop thinking about it. Naturally, it started a Tweet-typhoon that hasn't stopped. Our favorite is the Pig McNugget, which we'll never be able to stop seeing now.
Don't think that McDonald's is dumb enough to let the McRib disappear the way Kevin Spacey did at the end of The Usual Suspects. Why? Because in this scenario, we're all Chazz Palminteri grilling McDonald's to tell us whether the McRib is going away for good. Meanwhile, McDonald's is looking right through us to the ad posters on the back wall in which the fast food chain first proclaimed the exact same thing back in 2005.

The idea for a McRib farewell tour actually has origins in Dallas. According to a 2005 story in AdWeek, the Dallas-based marketing agency Moroch Partners announced it was working with McDonald's on the last "McRib Farewell Tour" to determine "consumer sentiment about the survival of the sandwich."

In a press release from Oct. 24 McDonald's writes, "Like any true farewell tour, we’re hoping this isn’t a “goodbye” but a “see you later.”

The greatest trick a fast-food conglomerate ever pulled was convincing the world that the McRib would never be back for a limited time only.
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Danny Gallagher has been a regular contributor to the Dallas Observer since 2014. He has also written features, essays and stories for MTV, the Chicago Tribune, Maxim, Cracked, Mental_Floss, The Week, CNET and The Onion AV Club.

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