Your Guide for Panic-Shopping at the Grocery Store Before The Impending Winter Blast

The iceman of local meteorologists, Pete Delkus, teased on Facebook Thursday: “If I told you how much snow I was seeing in my crystal ball on Monday you couldn't handle it!”

Monday we could see 10 inches of powder over 2 inches of ice — or it'll bone-dry sunshine. When you get up and look out the window is the moment you’ll know what the weather is. Either way, better get to the store (safely) to buy lots of stuff you don’t need and then more stuff you don’t need.

Instead of wandering the aisle of Trader Joe’s for an hour overwhelmed, we’ve pulled together a list that will get you through just fine. We’re assuming you already have wine, whiskey and bacon.

A Whole Brisket
Listen. I was always intimidated by a whole brisket because of the immense pressure to create something Zeus himself would stand alongside mortals in a line for. But, then I dropped one in the crockpot the other day with some fajita seasoning and Tony’s. It's that easy.

Ramen
The $14 billion instant noodle business has certainly had a year. Locally, the miso lobster ramen at TEN is worthy of sledding across Large Marge for if need be. But, we’re certainly not elitist about noodles. Swipe all the Tapatíos ramen into your cart, should you find some. One should have few dozen packages of Nissin or Top-Ramen on-hand for any emergency. That's standard prepper, right?

Chips
Have you ever made chip salad? You buy a bunch of chips, throw them in a salad bowl, toss with salad tongs, and voila, chip salad. Have you ever smashed a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos into a bowl of ramen? If not, it’s time you start living like the race car in Monopoly. Oh, and don’t forget plain tortilla chips for the queso.

Flour for Baking
After swinging by our favorite bakeries this weekend for a box of whatever looks good, track down Barton Spring Mills' flour at Central Market to bake bread. We recently talked to Oak Cliff Bread about the variety they use, but there’s a full range offered depending on what you’re baking, including pastry flour. NYTimes' no-knead recipe is almost fail-proof (just be sure you find a warm place for the yeast to get crazy). Nothing like fresh bread with counter butter.

Queso
Queso, our best-worst frienemy. There are plenty of recipes and ways to make queso at the house, but scrubbing that pot after it’s literally made you sick (enemy) with its deliciousness (friend) is mean (enemy). So hey, why not dip into your favorite local restaurant for a few gallons to-go? It’ll keep just fine. Win-Win!

Chocolate
Remember how we were just talking about how we should get The Glob from Parigi’s more often? Use this recent post about chocolate bombs to see what local chocolatiers are crafting for Valentine's Day. And of course, there are bags and bags of peanut butter hearts at the store that need a good home.

Fresh Tortillas
Hopefully, you’re making your own tortillas at home. It’s like counter butter: once you adapt, there’s no going back. (More on counter butter later.) But, either way, make sure you have access to fresh hot tortillas for the brisket and queso.

Local Craft Beer
Imagine the horror of abandoning our local craft brewers on the coldest day of the year. Lakewood Brewing Co. recently won National Grand Champion at the US Beer Tasting Championship with Lion’s Share 8. They also just released last year’s Bourbon Barrell Temptress. “2020 wasn’t good enough for our BBT,” joked Wim Bens, Founder and President. “All kidding aside, we wanted to make sure that our beloved BBT was the best it could be and that made us wait for a bit.” Community Beer Co. has their Long Winter Haze in stock. Peticolas recently brewed an 11% ABV Imperial, Stout Black Curtains, which you can get the vanilla version of in a growler. Peticolas also recently canned The Usual, their Old Fashioned cocktail style beer.