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Joe Bob Briggs

I recently made up with my girlfriend, Cherry Dilday--for the 37th time--and we were on our way to catch One Night Stand at the triple-screen Astro Drive-In on Loop 12 in Dallas. I was thinking how it was really weird that nobody has ever used the title One Night Stand...
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The Truth About Townview (Part II)

By the beginning of December, with pressure on Watson mounting, a new and much more formidable ally stepped onto center stage on her behalf: County Commissioner John Wiley Price. It is no accident that Price's two biggest racial battles this past year have involved Ora Lee Watson--at Parkland Memorial Hospital,...
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Buzz

Don't even think about it, mayor Sometimes Buzz marvels at what life in Dallas has done to its citizens. Last week, a seemingly bright, articulate woman called with a question. "I've called everywhere--city and county--and no one seems to be able to give me an answer," she said. "So, I...
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Alarming news

The city of Dallas' overwhelming problem with false burglar alarms became abundantly apparent this past January when Ivey Head's 77-Drive-In Cafe on South Industrial Boulevard burned to the ground. A controversy ensued because a police dispatcher had refused to respond to Head's alarm company's call for help because the city...
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BeloWatch

A document the A.H. Belo Corp. recently filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission flatly contradicts a key Dallas Morning News executive's published explanation for the demise of the paper's Sunday magazine. On November 15, 1994, The Dallas Morning News published a story on page 10D of the business...
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Letters

Get up offa that thing I just read the article, "Single with children" [February 22], the story of Linda Koop and the two boys she took in. I could say a lot of negative things about some of the players in that piece--but my hat still goes off to her...
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Last laugh

Social scientists and cultural engineers are, even as you read, racking their brains to determine why sketch comedy has reached rock bottom. Could it be that amusing situations and snappy lines are finite resources that have been exhausted? Or are all the good writers busy working on The Larry Sanders...
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Between the cracks

There are some things that, to be truly enjoyed, require a certain suspension of cynicism--stuff like reading fiction, finding God, falling in love...and music, of course. And cynicism about David Garza--or Dah-veed, as he prefers to be called--has been all but the party line in many of the hipper music...
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Roadshows

Better than their bite The audience was so sparse all Dave Sardy could do was laugh. The Barkmarket frontman stood at the edge of the Orbit Room stage in late November, staring and smiling slightly at the 15 or so boys--and they were truly boys, kids in backwards baseball caps...
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Hot Dish

Yippee-yi-oh-oy-vay! Who wouldn't trade Irish stew for a bowl of red? The third-annual community Kosher Chili Cook-Off at Tiferet Israel Synogogue takes place on March 17, St. Patrick's Day. All the koshered burners in the entire Metroplex have been secured for the event and pots of chili should be bubbling...
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Hang-up call

The movies of Spike Lee must present something of a nightmare to the mainstream liberal mind. He's the most confrontational, radical-left political filmmaker of his time, and a personal friend of the most powerful pair of Michaels in entertainment (Jackson and Jordan) to boot. As a director, he glides comfortably--and...
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Events for the week

thursday march 14 Ampersand Dance/Theatre: The title of the latest multimedia showcase by the Fort Worth-based Ampersand Dance/Theatre is nicely populist for a troupe which dabbles in decidedly noncommercial media--"Better Than A Movie and Cheaper Than A Cowboys Game" (a two-part statement to which we reply: "We'll see about that,"...
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This Gross House

Neighbors think the old man who lives at the corner of Cortez and Thornberry might be a little crazy. His house is falling down, its paint is fading away, and plastic tarps cover holes in its crumbling wood-shingle roof. The old man's yard, jammed with lumber, pipes, bricks, scaffolding, and...
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Feeling small

Editor's note: This is the final week Molly Ivins' column will appear in the Dallas Observer. We are forced to discontinue her column because the management of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram has ordered her syndicate to yank it from our pages. The Star-Telegram took the action after the Observer published...
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Roadshows

It came from Memphis Post-rock--that's what they call it in rock-crit and indie-rock circles, a term that has come to signify the end of rock and roll and the beginning of something new fashioned from something dead. It means, as I understand it, that all rock and roll made now...
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Joe Bob Briggs

Henceforth, herewith and therefrom, we have the final week of Drive-In Academy Award nominations. Yay, saith the Lord, there are too many Hubbies. If you haven't voted yet, I don't wanna hear about it. Just get to work. OK, gimme the envelope. The You've-Made-Too-Many-B-Movies Award * Adrienne Barbeau, Bram Stoker's...
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Out of bounds

Among the parents living in the tidy, peaked-roof cottages of Dallas' 'M' Streets neighborhood, it has been fodder for gossip for months now: How did Pete Sessions, Republican candidate for U.S. Congress, get his 6-year-old son into highly coveted Stonewall Jackson Elementary while living outside the school's boundaries? Did Sessions,...
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Buzz

In his dreams I turned to my dinner partner--beautiful, bright, smartly dressed. She bent close and whispered...and winked. Her wink made me smile. Whew! Point Buzz in the direction of a cold shower! A scene out of a Danielle Steel potboiler? Not hardly. This is a pitch letter crafted by...
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Letters

Return to Camelot I am writing in response to the article that appeared in the January 18-24 issue of the Dallas Observer ("It's the stock price, stupid!"), written by Miriam Rozen. The article is, in my opinion, full of lies, distortions, half-truths, and unfounded insinuations. The article commences with a...
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BeloWatch

News plans new Arlington daily; suburban newspaper war looms The Dallas Morning News has declared war on the Fort Worth Star-Telegram by announcing a blitzkrieg invasion of Arlington. After learning that BeloWatch and others were onto the story, the News on Tuesday ran a page-one article to unveil its closely...
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Disarming

George Bernard Shaw had a neat response for those critics who thought his plays were talky affairs full of nothing but words. "My plays were all words," he pronounced, "as Raphael's paintings are all paint." As fond as Shaw was of words in general, it was the last word he...
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Lou says

Lou Reed speaks in a deadpan growl, his voice never rising or falling even when he becomes energized enough to stress a point. Through a phone receiver, it is almost impossible to tell when he laughs, except when a small gasp of air seems to escape his lungs. You get...