New List of Most Fashionable Metros in America Excludes Dallas

I’m calling bullshit on this Atlantic Cities article. It breaks down the US of A into a list of the country’s 20 most fashionable metros. Not only is Dallas not on the list, but Jacksonville, Florida ranks number 12.

Have you been to Jacksonville? Guy Harvey is the razor’s edge of haute couture. Pair it with mandals and… BAM! You are ready to hit the nicest buffet in town, Dad.

If you’re like me, you’re wondering what Tom Lehrer-inspired algorithm was used in this data crunching. It took three values into account: the number of fashion designers working in each city, each designer’s hourly pay, and a mischievous little digit called the Location Quotient.

The LQ is a murky compilation of each city’s averageness, if we can call it that. For example: If Dallas is on par with the country’s national average of working designers within our metro region, then we’re listed as a 1. If we have double the average amount, we’re a 2. It’s nonsense. Also, we never hear the qualifications for what does and doesn’t title someone a “fashion designer.”

For example, all of South Florida is grouped together under one city category, and is listed as having only 256 working designers — that’s from Miami to Boca Raton. Bologna. Every housewife down there has a flip flop line and there are several large industrial design companies in that region which focus exclusively on apparel. Plus Miami has a solid showing in the couture market; there’s a reason GenArt and other fashion organizations use it for so much runway. On this chart, South Florida ranks 6 spots below Jacksonville, and 9 south of Cincinnati. Ever hear of Fashion Week Cincinnati? No. No, you haven’t.

With Fossil and Neiman Marcus as our anchors, we should have registered in the top ten. Add on the talented designers filling the racks of those boutiques we love to shop in, and I’d call it 8 or higher. But really, Jacksonville?

Here’s the full chart, just so you can snort laugh your coffee.