Audio By Carbonatix
With the Rangers over and the Mavs resting and the Stars playing a meaningless hockey game – ugh, is there an uglier phrase in the English language? – I flipped around DirecTV for a moment last night before wondering aloud:
If I had my choice, who would I watch right now?
Then I answered myself. With a list.
10. Dave Chappelle – Yeah I know he walked and his show is kaput, but every once in a while you’ll stumble upon a rerun and it’s a week-sweetner. Don’t you dare die before seeing his Race Draft. Priceless.
9. Murray Hewitt – Flight of the Conchords manager conducts the worst/best beend meeting in the history of “music.”
8. Peter Gammons – I’m not a seam-head, but whenever ESPN’s analyst speaks about baseball I stop and listen. He lives for that shit. man, I wished I loved anything half as much as Gammons loves baseball. Plus, I’m fascinated how much he looks like Andrew Jackson, the face of our $20 bill.
7. Mary Carillo – I find her passion and knowledge and ability to communicate tennis to be very arousing. No kidding.
6. Dale Hansen – Whether he’s unplugged or applying the Q&A taser to Jerry Jones, Channel 8’s icon sports anchor is the closest thing we have to must-see local TV.
5. George Stephanopoulos – He is … the most interesting man in the world. I don’t always watch politics, but when I do I watch This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Stay politcal, my friends.
4. Glenn Beck – I know the Fox News Channel host’s tears are more fake than professional wrestling, but I … can’t … look … away.
3. Jon Stewart – His Daily Show perspective, common sense and rubber-face expressions make even today’s gloomy news gleeful.
2. Katie Morgan – I find her passion and knowledge and ability to communicate stark, delicious nudity on HBO’s show about something-or-other to be very arousing. Double no-kidding.
1. Peter Griffin – Don’t try to emulate the ultimate Family Guy. Unless you want to be awesome.
