The Weirdest Postcard I’ve Ever Received

The only thing that could make this any more creepyweirdfunny is if it was hand-delivered by a cleaveage-baring dragon wearing a Jim Kern jersey whilst talking in a sing-songy Australian accent. I get some crazy stuff. Nothing beats this one. In my mailbox at the Dallas Observer yesterday I got...
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

The only thing that could make this any more creepyweirdfunny is if it was hand-delivered by a cleaveage-baring dragon wearing a Jim Kern jersey whilst talking in a sing-songy Australian accent.

I get some crazy stuff. Nothing beats this one. In my mailbox at the Dallas Observer yesterday I got a postcard.

Initial reaction: “Kewl.”

Post-examination reaction: “What the WHAT?!”

And I quote …

Mr. Whitt ,       11-19-09 (circled, in purple)

Re: Rumortorium? (boxed, highlighted with purple horizontal shading and vertical stripes)

Related

Ia) If (shaded in blue) the Dallas Cowboys sort of cross-pollinate (underlined in blue) Calvin [“#35- Counselor”] Hill within Jerry’s organization, What puzzles me is that the Craig Mortons & Larry Coles (underlined, in purple) aren’t given the opportunity of keeping up with the Joneses -; put #14 & #63 (bedazzled/bolded in purple) into the Cowboys’ Sing-of-Fawner (underlined, purple).

   b.)Cornell Green, ditto!.George Andre? (underlined, purple)

II. Does Babe Laufenberg (underlined, purple) also, hmm, remind you of….Scooby-Doo ?(shaded, baby blue)

III. If the Rangers Were to bring back ^dentist Clint Herzog’s pa, Whitey (underlined, purple), as, say, “Stop-Gap Emeritus”…then maybe[“Jerry Lewis-lookalike”]Rudy Jaramillo’s pending departure won’t be so vacated-vacuumlike?”Promote”Gaylord Perry…to be here.

Related

But wait, there’s more …

No name. No nothing. There’s a Dallas postmark on the card, which originated in 2000 in San Francisco.

Oh, yeah, the postcard itself? Glad you asked.

Related

It’s a West Highland White Terrier. What else would it be, silly?

GET MORE COVERAGE LIKE THIS

Sign up for the News newsletter to get the latest stories delivered to your inbox

Loading latest posts...