What This Country Needs Is a Good Five-Cent Cigar. Just Not Sold Separately.

While thumbing through the final agenda for next Wednesday’s city council meeting, I came across Agenda Item No. 53 — which, to be honest, I thought had been ditched altogether, till Merten reminded me this morning it had merely been deferred. So, say hello to this ghost of Christmas past: Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway’s push to ban single cigar sales. In brief, only because I like the definition of a cigar, which makes it sounds so … so … sexy:

The proposed ordinance creates an offense for selling a cigar individually or in a package containing less than five cigars. The ordinance defines a cigar as a roll of fermented tobacco that is wrapped entirely or in part in tobacco and the main stream of smoke from which produces an alkaline reaction to litmus paper. It is a defense to prosecution if the cigar is sold in the ordinary course of business by the owner, operator, or employee of: (1) a tobacco shop (defined as a retail or service establishment that derives at least 90 percent of its revenue on a quarterly basis from the sale of tobacco, tobacco products, or smoking implements), or (2) a retail or service establishment that is not generally accessible by a minor. The penalty for violation of the ordinance is up to $500.

Seems like a bargain for at least one lucky lady.