Dogs Love Malls And Rabbits

Humans are a funny lot. We stage food-chain scenarios for our amusement that should never happen in real life. Take Monday’s Dogs and Cats Meet the Easter Bunny event, happening at the Parks in Arlington (3811 S. Cooper St.). If your boisterous hunter of a hound were able to visit a mall on his own terms, he would obviously run into a Spencer’s first. Canines love beer pong, lasers and hookas that smoke up to 12 at once. Next, he would scamper off in search of an Orange Julius, because silly dogs don’t realize that malls kicked those bums out ages ago. Then, when he finally got around to it, he would devour the giant rabbit that he’s meant to calmly pose either next to or in the lap of. Cats would do the same thing, assuming you substitute Gadzooks and Auntie Anne’s in the previously mentioned retail game plan. Still, they too would thrill at the bloodletting that comes from a vicious mall attack staged with a giant rabbit in the common space between Nordstrom Rack and Dick’s Sporting Goods. So pop on by from 6 to 9 p.m.; it’s your last chance for seasonal photographic memories! Dogs and cats must be in carriers or on leashes.

Mon., March 25, 6-9 p.m., 2013