There are houses and then there are motherfucking houses. This is one of the second. Designed from the ground up by local architect, designer and great-taste-haver Eddie Maestri, it’s like an ooh and aah odyssey for your pants. Why pants? Why not? You likely know Maestri from his “coming soon” signs around Lakewood, and now you’re going to get to know him even better since he’s basically personally inviting you into his home. (Or technically us, but po-tay-to, po-tah-to.) Oh, and if you like what you see, call him up and order one of the exact same houses for yourself because that’s pretty much the way that works, right? (Answer: not at all.)
More about Maestri because every article needs more bullet points!
- He grew up in New Orleans and his upstairs, screened-in porch won’t shut up about it.
- His vacation sketches are works of art.
- He’s the father of the two future talented people pictured above.
- His husband, Adam Moore, refused to pose in this picture because he needed a haircut.
- When you design a house from scratch, you tend to have an abundance of favorite things, so join us on this Cheaters Journey where whole rooms equal one thing…
The Dining Room
Maestri inherited the table, chairs and all the mid-century barware from his grandparents. Maestri has always been into mid-century, but it’s the way he mixes it with all the other eras and styles that makes it so awesome. He can put together the kind of room that makes you say, “Eff it. Why bother. I’ll just go live in this tent I made out of construction paper and craft glue.”
RED ALERT: The curtains for this room are currently being made and therefore missing. They’re going to be solid white with a Greek key border. Maestri, mixing styles like he’s getting paid to.
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The Kitchen and Eating Area
“So, you like to cook…” is pretty much the first statement you make when you see a kitchen like this and PLOT TWIST, Maestri doesn’t, but Moore does. When they created this space, they wanted something big and open so they could watch Wheel of Fortune while they were sautéing things … or, you know, like, talk to each other about their days and stuff.
The dining area is fancy casual – a simple, stylish table and then, BAM, a chandelier. It’s like a black-tie top with parachute pants bottoms. Perfection.
The Living Room
The chairs were Maestri’s grandmothers and even though they had them recovered, they went with the same white leather because heritage. The other most amazing thing about this room? TEXTURES. Maestri loves textures like your momma loves cake. (Assuming she’s Big Momma from the hit movie franchise Big Momma’s House.) Maestri used leather and velvet and yarn-y pillows all in one room. It makes the room feel roomy, put together and professional so if you take nothing else away from this, texture up, bitches.
The Built In Alcove
While Maestri and Moore were working on the plans for this house, they were also shopping. One day they come across this bench, had to have it and designed an entire nook just to give it a home. And those little drawings on the wall are Maestri’s sketches from his travels. When he sees a structure he likes, he draws it in pencil and fills it in with ink later. Lest you think he’s so totally into himself, it was Moore’s idea to put them on display. Supportive spouses, whaaaaaat?
Also pictured: a commissioned work of art from local painter Kristen Dowd. She created the black and white one downstairs, too, and they love it so much, they bought another.
Kids' Bedroom and Bathroom
The beds in the boys' room are actually from Land of Nod, Crate & Barrel’s kids line, but the dresser is from Davis Street Mercantile. Obviously, they wanted to create a room for the boys that was a room for the boys, but they skipped the Little Tikes Race Car Bed and went for something a little more sophisticated.
In the bathroom, those radical mirrors were windows on a ship, obvi. Maestri’s mother had them turned into mirrors when he was a kid and now they’re here, thereby solidifying this collection as the greatest ever in hand-me-down history.