Driving down Greenville the other day, a sign caught my eye: homemade sandwiches. Does that mean somebody makes sandwiches at his house and then brings them here and sells them to me a few hours later? Better question: Is somebody’s home making these sandwiches? Subquestion: How much do you pay…
Quesa-D-Ya’s. Really, dude. That’s what you went with? Guess you assumed that Dallas folk don’t know how to spell, let alone pronounce, “quesadilla”? Probably fair. Still feels like you raped the Spanish language, though. Did you also name that damned Mooyah Burger? I hope you did. It’d be much more…
When I heard about Sweet Georgia Brown’s bevy of pork offerings, I also heard that they were a little outside my price range. So, I bet my friend that strippers will beat you up if you snap quarters at them instead of giving them dollar bills, made my couple extra…
When it’s raining balls all week, the “Let’s stay dry” part of me starts saying drive-through is the only way to go. And driving down Buckner Boulevard, I came across a drive-through with barred windows, chipping paint and zero cars in line. Count me in. The menu at John’s Seafood…
It’s State Fair time. Time to make out with Big Tex, take a ride on the Texas Star and maybe even do a little balloon-darting on the Midway. But more important, it’s time to get your fried-food game face on. This year there are some brand-new contenders vying for some…
I’ve had Primo Brothers’ big-ass pizza delivered to my house, but I had never gone over to the actual restaurant to check out their lunch specials. Until today. They’re in the same strip mall as the dance studio where I get my crump on, so after my weekly hip-hop-video-style arms…
I walked into Jen’s Place, saw that the daily special was brisket and noted three things: 1) This is a cafeteria, not a BBQ joint. 2) Nobody named Jen makes a good brisket. To make a good brisket, you need a name like Rusty or Dusty or at least a…
It’s no secret I’ve been A&E Obsessed with gas station taquerias recently. And you know what that means: Exposure therapy! (To clarify, “exposure therapy” doesn’t mean I striptease to Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” at convenience stores. It does, however, mean that I get to eat a lot of salsa.) So, when…
Drove up to Boston Burger totally excited to be magically whisked away to Boston. Would their burgers have baked beans and clam chowder on them? Would they be made of John Kerry and Mitt Romney? The front door of the place is less than inviting, but open it. And once…
I’ve been eyeing El Pollo Regio for a while now. So, when I heard that the one on Spring Valley recently got a score of 73 (that’s four points above failing, I’m told) from the health inspector, I got a little sad. Because it’s totally cool if you go into…
Sometimes trying new things sucks. Por exemplo, I joined Twitter this week. And when I went to pick a username, I found out that @bigbagodongs was already taken (total suckitude), so I had to settle for @thecheapbastard. Super lame, but I guess that’s what I get for waiting so long…
With many of my favorite homegrown Dallas restaurants closing down (Mr. Barbecue Bus is gone, Big D’s Dogs bit it and now Vern’s Place is shutting its doors? I hate choo, Dallas!), it’s not as easy to find a $10 lunch here as it used to be. Of course, I…
I’ve heard the legend of the Desperado taco for some time now. Usually starts with, “Oh my God—these things are life-changing,” or I get the typical straight punch to the uterus when someone discovers that I haven’t been there before. But, uterus punch or no, I avoided the place like…
I was sitting in Michelle’s Homestyle Cooking, sipping on sweet tea, waiting for my food to arrive and thinking to myself that I was living a pretty great life. I’ve got a loving family, great friends, Showtime—things are pretty perfect. And then my food arrived. After one bite of my…
Months ago, I realized that the Barbecue Bus on Maple Avenue had disappeared. I cried and cried and prayed and prayed that it would come back—the Barbecue Man behind the cigarette counter who served me chopped beef sandwiches was awesome, and so was the food he served up. What happened,…
There’s a Burger Street in a Motel 6 parking lot. Duh. Going there. Gimme the Junior Burger Combo, which comes with a drink and the choice of curly fries or tater tots. Now, there is a huge difference between curly fries and tater tots: curly fries are curly fries and…
I’ve driven past several Chicken & Rice restaurants in Dallas and always kinda wondered what goes on in there (besides the obvious chicken-and-rice-ing). The windows of MJ’s Chicken & Rice always particularly confused me because of their neon signs that read “Chinese” and “Catfish.” It’s like they picked all of…
Hunky’s is your typical ’50s throwback diner, with the added bonus that they have STD testing information on the bathroom walls. It’s the diner equivalent of Sesame Street: fun and informative (“Today’s episode was brought to you by the letters V and D and the number Shit!”) When it was…
So, after my Texaco station taco experience went so well, I decided I’d see what the competition at the Chevron at Park Lane and Greenville Avenue had to offer. Turns out, I’ve been really wasting my life away by buying Funyuns at these places when I could’ve been ordering tortas…
Before I walked into the Cindi’s on Central, I had no idea why they’d open a location that’s literally next door to The Casket Store. (Same question to you, Boxes to Go. You offering speedier service? I guess it’s pretty much impossible to open up any store next to The…
Ever been to a gas station and thought, “Know what this gas station needs: tacos ‘n’ shit.” Well, the Texaco on Inwood Road and Stemmons Freeway will make all your gas station/taco stand dreams come true. Sure, there are some things about this taco stand that might make you nervous:…
On Cinco de Mayo, while you were taking tequila shots off of God knows who’s God knows where, Burguesa Burger was opening its ventanas to the public for the first time. Just a little orange shack next door to Sonny Bryan’s and down the street from the Salvation Army on…
