Mother’s Day is right around the corner, you guys! But, what do you get the woman who shot you into this cruel world? You are once again met with the challenge of figuring out what says, “Thanks for humping sperm, building my eyelashes from scratch, and then painfully fluiding me…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. You’re pretending to work on a rainy day. So, you go to White Rock Coffee (10105 E. Northwest Highway). When Duncan Sheik begins to play…
Dallas: The land of real barbecue and fuck-yeah tacos. A place where figuring out where you want to go to lunch takes at least 10 minutes every day because you and your coworker get into a face-punch fight over which burger is the best burger in Dallas. But, when you’re…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. I (Heart Shape) Pho is in the same shopping center as the Used To Be Kinko’s at Forest Lane and Central Expressway (7927 Forest Lane)…
Dear Dallas Weather: Stop trying to be Seattle. If we wanted to live in Seattle, we’d buy a train, fill it with enough Bob Armstrong queso to last us a lifetime and drive it there. But we don’t want that. We want to live in Dallas: the land of patio…
Sure, you know it’s raining and today has a general crapturdness about it, weather-wise. But what does the rest of the week have in store? We’re so glad you asked. We’ve got the best 5-day forecast in Dallas for you, right here. Behold: Your 5-day forecast as Movie Villains…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. “I’m sorry — you can’t drink that in here, sir.” Register Girl runs from behind the counter to stop Already Chugging the Craft Beer She…
Rob Thomas is playing at Choctaw Casino and Resort in Durant, Oklahoma on Saturday, March 14. But, you already knew that. You screamed, “OH, HELL YES” when you saw the giant billboard on I-75 here in Dallas with his giant Rob Thomas face on it and those intense Rob Thomas…
Fish eyes staring me down: 4 “Fish taco can also mean vagina” jokes that ran through my head during lunch: 456 Fur Coat On A 70-Degree Day Lady arrives a little late to meet her friend, Strait-Lane Old-Money Awesome Huge Old-Lady Hair Lady, and side-hugs her. They talk shit about…
The Wobble is a song written by V.I.C. that plays everywhere from clubs to bars to weddings to school dances. It’s a line dance. A dance craze abomination brought here by the Line Dance Devil himself. If you are unfamiliar with the dance, here is one of thousands of instructional…
Yesterday, it rained on and off for the whole day. And today, it appears that the rain is here to stay all day. Look for that text about your kid’s school closing. It’s only a matter of time. Upon hearing that school districts were considering closing early due to “heavy…
All of the schools are closed. You find yourself stuck at home with your own children. They want to go outside and run in the sleet, but you have been told by various important weather outlets that #SLEETSHOW2015 is no joke, and that going outside can only mean certain death…
Local weather forecasters including Pete Delkus, CBS11Larry, and your mama predicted that sleet would rain down upon us all last night, and it sure did. (For my fellow Native Texans, “sleet,” of course, in meteorological terms is the petulant baby that is created when snow and rain do The Nasty.)…
Mark your meat calendar: March 2 at 11 a.m., Luscher’s on 2653 Commerce St. will have its grand opening. I know you’re all very excited for this restaurant to open, and there are a lot of rumors flying around about what it looks like inside, where exactly the sausage champagne…
I haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey. I was waiting for someone to make it into a movie, because as a mother of two, I rarely have time to read books, and I must use what little time I have to read books with titles like, How to Not Stab…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Dollars you pay for a parking meter right out front on a weekday in Deep Ellum: 0 People freaking out as they realize the patio…
Punxsutawney Phil (whose full name, for the record, is Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators and Weather Prophet Extraordinary) has been predicting the weather since Groundhog Day began in 1886. His predictions are simple and straightforward: It’s either six more weeks of winter, or we’re…
What a beautiful week we had. Temps in the high 70s, sunny skies, patio lunches — it was damn pretty. You got your bike tuned up, your picnic basket packed up, and you’re geared up for a kickass outdoor weekend. I am now here to crush your outdoor weekend dreams,…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Dusty Christmas decorations count: 27 Warm, cuddly, Tex-Mex fuzzies count: 400 Some days, you need a food hug. And not just a side-hug food hug…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Scarf-wearing dudes at the bar: 4 Times I said, “Damn!” whilst eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich: 3 From the outside, Grub Burger Bar…
Mixmaster presents “100 Creatives,” in which we feature cultural entrepreneurs of Dallas in random order. Rob Shearer was in my backyard, competing in Meat Fight 2011 on a team with his friend Kevin Johns. These were the guys who were running Blues, Bandits & Barbecue– an actual, legit barbecue event…
Good barbecue is always a little pricey, but there are ways to make it work for $10. The main rule of eating good barbecue on a budget is order only meats. Meats with a side of more meats. On this day, you’re eating caveman style. You’re the Meat Hulk, with…
