Do you like wreaths? Of course you do. Do you like meats? OF COURSE YOU DO WOULD YOU LIKE A MEAT WREATH OF COURSE YOU WOULD BUY ELEVENTY!! “What is a meat wreath?” you ask (for what reason, I don’t know. I should have had you at “meat wreath”). According…
It’s the holiday season. A time of joy. A time of laughter. A time when everyone likes to buy their favorite friends and family members presents whilst being total dicks to all the strangers in their path. Let’s all go to NorthPark and play Holiday Shopping Bingo! The Twitchy-Eyed Mom…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Other cars in the drive-thru: 0 Level of seriousness of the person serving me frozen booze in a sealed, plastic bag: HIGHEST The Original Daiquiris…
In “Shigging,” we ask barbecue experts to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they’re allowed to lie once. This week, for Shigging, we’re switching meats. For the moment, we’re moving on from brisket, and we’ll be asking Jeffery…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Grandpa and grandma double-date count: 4 Praline count: 7 One could go to El Fenix at lunch. But it’s much more fun to go for…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. People saying “Ooooooh” at their food: 14 Times I wondered why there was a full-length mirror next to the shitter in the ladies’ restroom, angled…
Hey Leslie Brenner! I don’t know you. I’m Alice. I don’t know what you look like, but lots of chefs in town tell me they know what you look like, and that you’re never truly dining secretly in their restaurants. I imagine that you look like the above illustration that…
In “Shigging,” we ask pitmasters to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they’re allowed to lie once. This week, we’re asking Todd David, pitmaster at Cattleack Barbecue, how he smokes his brisket. What is the name of your…
Last year, tickets to Meat Fight (my barbecue competition that benefits the National MS Society) sold out in a flash. So, this year, we decided to have a meat scavenger hunt so that one lucky bastard could have easy access to our meat tickets before any other bastard. This is…
We sent Alice, our resident State Fair of Texas expert, to sample the eight finalists at this year’s Big Tex Choice Awards. Well, actually, that’s a lie. We didn’t send her. She was going no matter what. In fact, God help the poor soul who stands between Alice and a…
In “Shigging,” we ask barbecue experts to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they’re allowed to lie once. This week, for Shigging, I’m doing something a little different, and speaking with a competitive barbecue champion. I’ve heard that…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Eight old dudes, sitting at a table near the back, had buckets of empty wine and were clearly mid-serious-slurred-conversation when I walked in. Cedars Mediterranean…
If The State Fair of Texas is Fried Christmas, Abel Gonzales Jr. is its Fried Jesus. The first year of the Big Tex Choice Awards, he won with Fried Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich. The second year, he won with Fried Coke. Third year: Fried Cookie Dough was his winner…
This news should strike fear in the fried hearts of many: American Idol will hold auditions for the new season at our great State Fair of Texas on September 26th and 27th– the first two days of the fair. There is no prior registration required. You just have to be…
In “Shigging,” we ask barbecue experts to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they’re allowed to lie once. This week, I’m asking Wayne Mueller (pit master and supreme badass at Louie Mueller Barbecue in Taylor, Texas) how he…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Milkmaid HJ count: 0 Beer “fuck yeah” count: 3 Should you find your cheap self traveling to The Great North, aka The Nearly Oklahoma, aka…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Fork count: 0 Deep Ellum Hipster count: 8 Everything about ramen is good. From the broth to the noodles to the whatever-the-fuck-else-you-throw-in-there. When it’s at…
In “Shigging,” we ask barbecue experts to give us some specifics about how they smoke their meats. In the spirit of barbecue secretiveness and competitiveness, they’re allowed to lie once. This week I’m changing things up a little from the regular pit master path, and I’m asking Chef Brian C…
The 10th Big Tex Choice Awards were held inside the Tower Building at the State Fair of Texas this year. Unlike in previous years, there was a huge crowd; usually it’s just the finalists, the judges, their families, and media, but the State Fair sold tickets to the public to…
Recently, I asked a scarf if it had a moment to sit with me and talk about why it’s in Dallas so much this time of year. The scarf was gracious enough to oblige. Here is our interview: Hey, Scarf. Can I just ask, what the hell? It’s 100 degrees…
It’s Drinking Week at City of Ate, which means even more stories than usual about our favorite pastime. Check back for more stories about craft beer, killer bartenders and more. I had always wanted to go to Cocktails Dancing (6521 Abrams Road). On Abrams Road, right next door to a…
Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good — or at least non-lethal — lunch for less than 10 bucks. Open seats at 3:45 p.m. on a Sunday: 0 Menu items: 143 Roll N Go (6110 Greenville Ave.) is not a sushi roll restaurant. It…
