Caroline Dingwall has her game face on. Perched before the piano in a mirrored practice room, the 12-year-old’s intent gaze hides her inexperience as a performer. She stretches her fingers gently across the keys, playing the opening notes to John Lennon’s “Imagine.” You’d be forgiven if you suppress a cringe:…
There are two kinds of kids in this world: kids who dig bugs and kids who are scared shitless by them. When they grow up, they will be further sorted into the two kinds of adults in this world: people who understand deep, troubling irony and people who do not…
There are two kinds of kids in this world: kids who dig bugs and kids who are scared shitless by them. When they grow up, they will be further sorted into the two kinds of adults in this world: people who understand deep, troubling irony and people who do not…
Ah, the mid-life crisis. When men may turn to speedy sports cars and hair replacement therapy to replace their dwindling testosterone. When women may spend hours at Curves, squeeze into a pair of high-waisted, too-tight tapered jeans purchased in approximately 1988 and spend their Tuesday nights with girlfriends at the…
My mom always made mealtime allowances for items like Fruit Roll-Ups and Dr Pepper. Likewise, wholesome public programming was not part of my television diet, as I consumed the plentiful entertainment calories of Nickelodeon. But occasionally, I craved something healthy. My publicly funded drug of choice came in the form…
Aaron Neville’s Super Bowl performance of the national anthem bordered on treason. In fact, if I were the New Orleans singer, I’d be worried that Dubya would have interpreted my inane warbling as a direct threat to the American way. I’d be afeared of being branded an evildoer. But for…
Dallas doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being the most low-key, down-to-earth of cities. We are the home of the $30,000-millionaires. Our semi-private clubs (cough, Medici, cough) have both the nerve to mispronounce the actual usage of the family name and advertise themselves on a billboard on Cedar Springs Road…
Beware the Black Watch! These formidable agents from overseas will soon arrive on our hallowed land with all their dastardly weapons in tow! Yarrrr, these Scots be armed with tartan! With bagpipe! With drum and dancers! With such enthusiasm as to force otherwise calm, collected writers to overuse exclamatory punctuation!…
I know this whole Vagina Monologues thing has really taken off in recent years, but I’m just not sure I fall for it. As someone who has close–one might say, intimate–knowledge of this particular aspect of femininity, I have a hard time believing that a monologue is the best the…
At six stories high and with just more than 95,000 square feet, the beige box of a building that houses the Dallas Central Appraisal District on Stemmons Freeway is, at best, uninspiring. You get the impression that what goes on inside isn’t unlike certain scenes in Mike Judge’s film Office…
Short of being forced to watch repeated episodes of Benny Hill completely sober, I can’t think of a lot of things I’d be less excited about than a poetry slam. While I firmly believe that all pretentious, self-wanking poetry (and the poets who write it) should be slammed (into the…
With all that’s going on in the world today, it’s hard to think of Africa as a peaceful, non-civil-war-and-AIDS-and-famine-ridden continent. Every time you turn on the news, something else is happening to further send man’s evolutionary homeland into a state of disarray. Maybe it’s because the situation is so disheartening…
Many times we hear about bizarre feats of nature—snakes with two heads, green kittens and the like. These are random anomalies that deviate from the norm; they elicit smiles, shrieks or thoughtful “Hmms.” Who knew that here in North Texas we are, and have been, harboring a relatively large population…
Slowly, people are trickling into the Cavern, sporting requisite hipster wear in all its various forms, from punk chic to whatever’s on the mannequins over at Urban Outfitters. It’s Thursday night, and they are, or will very soon be, hard at play. Forty miles west, at KTVT-Channel 11 in Fort…
Once again, the Man deals a blow to the homeless population of downtown. While more green spaces would make the area more habitable and inviting, more golf courses downtown would not—no matter how green and, in this case, indoors, scaled-down and air-conditioned they are. It’s like setting up a big…
The English have given us so much: the Stamp Act, Newcastle Brown Ale and the genius of Ricky Gervais. They inspire us toward better dental hygiene and force us to re-evaluate the true meaning of fair skin. Their wacky driving habits spice up vacations by keeping pedestrians on their toes,…
Folks these days are prone to hyperbole. Everything’s the best, the biggest, whatever. And Robin Williams (documentary filmmaker, not the spastic comic actor) is no exception. His film Biblical Treasures of Turkey goes a little too far with the term “treasure.” The trailer features, um, old buildings, some groves of…
Persistence is a virtue: Laray Polk is conducting what she calls an “intervention.” Dressed in black from head to toe, Polk is perched on the curb outside a downtown parking garage, pleading with two young Hispanic men hurriedly getting into a sleek black government sedan. The driver, a military recruiter,…
Watching Fight Club now is like looking back at your Hollywood high school yearbook after the 10-year reunion’s over. It’s like, Brad Pitt was this totally hot guy back in the day, but he was also kind of nice, too. Then you see him at the reunion, and he’s divorced…
There are many different levels of prestige that may be achieved by members of our human race. Kings, queens, knights and dukes. Presidents. Viscounts. Newspaper writers. But by far the most prestigious rank is that of master of scotch, a position so incredibly awesome that this Dallas Observer writer didn’t…
Really, all dating is speed dating. Some dates you have to take speed to stay awake for, some you have to speed away from the next morning. Some you speed to until you realize that “cuisine transportation consultant” means “pizza delivery guy.” Speed’s got a bad connotation. But hurry, well,…
Kevyn Matthew Williams has been a lot of things. Pro football player. UPS guy. Self-published poet. Host of Dallas’ top-rated nighttime radio show for adults. But right now he says he’s just confused–and unemployed. And confused about being unemployed. Better known to North Texans as “Rudy V,” Williams was the…
