Russian nutcrackers indeed. You can imagine the muscles those prima ballerinas develop. Probably what the Russian vixen Onatopp studied before she played nutcracker on James Bond in Goldeneye, while the rest of her troupe went on to form the more family-friendly Moscow Ballet Touring Company in 1993. Since then the…

The Confederacy wants YOU! Let’s return to that golden time of warfare, before terrorists and IEDs, when soldiers lined up properly and attacked each other straight on in daylight like honorable men! With flags and drums and onlookers eating a picnic nearby…waaaaa?? Ah, there is much you need to learn…

“That son of a bitch cut me off!” You’ve said it so often you think you own it. But when Tom “Maverick” Cruise lets it fly in Top Gun, he got paid megabundles and got offered a lifetime of jumping on couches with Oprah. Damn! Give me a jet (preferably…

Boobs. Front and center of men’s eternal love-lust relationship. Women diagnosed with breast cancer fear more than a potentially deadly invasion of their bodies. They think they’re kissing femininity good-bye—an offensive our mammary-obsessed society should counter-attack with love and support. The Van Ditthavong Gallery is raising money for a Dallas…

The Ndere Troupe is called Africa’s Dancing Encyclopedia. (A U.S. troupe would do some Cotton-eyed Joe-polka-salsa-zydeco-hip-hop numbers that MC Hammer couldn’t touch. And we sure as hell won’t.) These young artists from Uganda have been trained by native Stephen Rwangyezi since 1986 to celebrate the dance, music and song from…

It’s all good! We’re cool with the city fathers’ attempts to remodel our sorry historical, homely carc-asses. A Boston area beer joint called Deep Ellum has even opened to immortalize the area as the “SoHo-like district in Dallas: a factory district, black ghetto, and urban-revival area.” We’re a legend in…

Sondheim. Rodgers. If you were in need of emotional resuscitation with fast-acting lyrics and time-released melodies, these were your go-to guys. In the ’90s the warm-and-fuzzy experience was chased off Broadway, apparently by antidepressant manufacturers and the American Psychoanalytic Association. Enter Jason Robert Brown, a young composer who understands our…

The name Hip Pocket more than covers it. The west Fort Worth theater group has been reaching around and pulling it out for a popular 31 seasons now. But we’re not just talking about a super-sized black hole of endless talent and creative energy—they’re hip in the not-connected-to-your-ass sense too…

Oy vey! It’s like Purim in August! The Jewish Community Center of Dallas hosts their 11th Annual Jewish Arts Fest Sunday at the Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flora St. Themed “It’s no secret how Jewish life is built!” the 12-ring party (with kosher nosh and enough simultaneous glitter to captivate…

You’ll have two chances to see God or Satan in the next few days if you head to Denton. (And you thought it would be another lazy weekend waiting for sunshine around the pool.) As stars in their own back-to-back student-directed plays at University of North Texas, the Opposition Duo…

You’ll have two chances to see God or Satan in the next few days if you head to Denton. (And you thought it would be another lazy weekend waiting for sunshine around the pool.) As stars in their own back-to-back student-directed plays at University of North Texas, the Opposition Duo…

It has all the makings of perfect summer entertainment: romance, plastic surgery, thugs, mercy killings and bastards. Arsenic and Old Lace ran for 1,444 hysterical performances on Broadway during WWII, when the nation was obviously keen to find something funny about death. Frank Capra’s follow-up movie starring Cary Grant is…

Young Annie Sullivan, hired by the Kellers in 1886 to tame their wild, blind and deaf daughter Helen, was practically blind herself, raised in a poorhouse and stubborn as the mule in their barn. But stubborn gets the job done when you’re playing impossible odds and can hardly see the…

You finally redid the living room. Took forever. New HDTV, awesome couch to replace the hand-me-down from the parents. You even spent a week repainting the walls to bring out the various shades in your West Elm rug. But what to do with the empty space over the couch? That’s…

In its continuing campaign to nourish our cinematic bodies, the AllGood Café’s July 11 Rock ‘N’ Reel Night features a doobie duo that would have David Wooderson dazed and content in the front row: Reefer Madness and Grass. Throw in the café’s menu—mom’s home-cooked goodies made with the freshest ingredients…

Whether you like yours played on a traditional ektara or fused with hip-hop, reggae and house, get your Bhangra fix from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. Friday at Clay Pit’s (4460 Belt Line Road in Addison) Bollywood Beatz blowout. Share the latest buzz from the world’s hottest film capital, Mumbai…

If your children thrive on painting outside the lines, this may be early signs of Inner Picasso Syndrome. (Quick test for symptoms: mrpicassohead.com/create.) The art world declared the Spanish genius to be history’s greatest child prodigy, but he disagreed, “There are no child prodigies in painting…[only] the genius of childhood.”…

You can’t trust short people with your jewelry—at least not your special power ring that controls the universe. I got one in a cereal box when I was a kid and put my parents under a spell where they were late everywhere and couldn’t remember people’s names. It hasn’t worn…

This is what mojitos were made for. Get out the high-heeled red dancing shoes—the king of rumba is playing at the Meyerson. The hot syncopation of Arturo Sandoval’s Latin jazz is musical café Cubano straight from the soul. In 1961, young Sandoval took up the trumpet in his Cuban village…

They’re either lying or just laying a good joke on us. Last time I checked my dictionary, besides the obligatory listing for the “oldest living professionals,” prostitute was defined as a person who debases himself by misusing his talents in offering unworthy goods to the public. Poke your head in…

It’s time for Revenge of the Classics. South by Southwest artists just stumbled back through town dropping a trail of rock-pop-latino-electronic-soul-indie-avant-punk riff crumbs and sound-bite wrapping paper left over from their latest Austin love fest. Time for a little classical clean-up, Southeastern style—and Southeastern Festival of Song is the Georgia…

If Salvador Dali and Andy Warhol had a kid…wait a minute—they did. The “kid” inhabits a world revealed by artist David LaChapelle. Larger than life, sensual, quirky, colorful and waving an in-your-face “love me!” attitude, his photographs don’t just celebrate life, they create it—a vibrant, palpable fourth dimension of urban…