Groundhog Day Recipes: Don’t Forget To Remove The Scent Glands

Apparently most people still haven’t caught on that PETA is not actually an animal-rights activism group but rather a long-running practical joke. It has to be, right? Surely a group that gets witless celebutantes to undress for anti-fur campaigns and tries to get people to call fish “sea kittens”–even as…

Bonus MP3: AnonymousCulture — “Summertime”

Pleasant Grove rapper AnonymousCulture is on the verge of staging an Intervention on the music world. This will be a little different than a real-life intervention, though. In a real intervention, you think you’re about to have a party, only to have a bunch of friends and relatives bitch at…

Hophead: Estrella Damm Inedit–Damn, Do I Need It?

Number 7 on the Hophead Beer of the Year list last month was Inedit, a new creation from Barcelona brewery Estrella Damm specifically created as an alternative to wine for food pairings. What landed this brew on my year-end list wasn’t the taste. In fact, I hadn’t even tried it…

A Skosh Of Scotch

There are many milestones in a male’s life pivotal to the transition from boy to man. Falling in love for the first time. Losing that burdensome virginity. First heartbreak. Marriage. The birth of his first child. Killing a man (not counting homeless). Uh, scratch that last one. But he is…

This Bud’s For You, Dog

One of my favorite memories of my old golden retriever was how happy he was whenever I poured a Lone Star into his water bowl. But the beers at the Second Annual Bark-n-Beer Benefiting Operation Kindness are probably too strong for a dog. Find out from 2 to 5 p.m…

Canine Mardi Gras

The Greyhound Adoption League of Texas is a great (or “greyt”) cause, finding homes for retired racing dogs. Tony Romo, Jason Terry, Mike Modano and other human athletes won’t be euthanized when they retire, and neither should racing animals once they’ve outlived their athletic careers. But the real reason to…

The Pink Floyd Of Juggling

If there’s a form of entertainment more resistant to updating than juggling, I don’t know what it is. Sure, the ancestors of today’s jugglers couldn’t juggle modern objects like, say, chainsaws, but performers still use the same techniques and probably the same jokes. Which is why the title of one…

Yoohoo, Vindaloo!

Native American food must suck. Even though India is an ocean away from America, menus and grocery stores are far more likely to carry Indian food than the cuisine of the people formerly and incorrectly called “Indians.” Or maybe it’s that the sight of a diner offering Native American food…

In Art’s Heart Of Hearts

From Catholic Sacred Heart of Jesus imagery to the classic sweetheart tattoo, the human heart has inspired artists for as long as there have been artists. But my favorite piece of heart art isn’t a painting or a sculpture. Rather, it’s the moment in Indiana Jones and the Temple of…

Sweet School

If you really want to disappoint your wife or girlfriend this Valentine’s Day, get her a Russell Stover box or, better yet, an even cheaper generic variety pack. Then sit back and watch as she eats and exclaims, “Ooh, this one tastes like wax. Hmm, this one must be toothpaste-flavored…

Big D Romance

I fell in love with the woman I married while attending the University of North Texas, so I don’t know firsthand what “Love Dallas Style,” the title of the Old Red Museum’s Valentine’s Day program, means. From what I’ve observed in the Little D, “Love Denton Style” means bonding over…

Sweet School

If you really want to disappoint your wife or girlfriend this Valentine’s Day, get her a Russell Stover box or, better yet, an even cheaper generic variety pack. Then sit back and watch as she eats and exclaims, “Ooh, this one tastes like wax. Hmm, this one must be toothpaste-flavored…

One Mad Dash

Bro, these runners are ignoring me when I scream, “Show your tits!” And what’s with the costumes? At least the contest judges are hot. Miss Dallas and that anchor chick are nice, but that Krystal Summers is smoking! I bet she–what do you mean, “Make that ‘he’?” Dude, I was…

Graph Design

How do you relieve anxiety? Drink wine? Smoke a joint and watch TV? Not the late Eugene Andolsek. Nearly every night for some 50 years, Andolsek created intricate geometric patterns on graph paper, using a compass to create arcs and circles and filling in spaces with colorful inks he mixed…

Liar, Liar

I’m not spoiling Shane Mauss’ act by describing his introduction gag, because it’s obvious what he’s doing. Also, because it’s not that funny. Anyway, he lists recent accomplishments, like his wedding anniversary, his fourth year sober, having lost 250 pounds, etc. They’re obvious lies, so don’t succumb to clapping peer…

Mark Growden

Mark Growden creates the kind of rich, evocative, cabaret-noir-Americana that thousands of Tom Waits imitators would give their porkpie hats to be able to write. And as if that weren’t enough to make them jealous, Growden’s backing band includes guitarist Myles Boisen, upright bassist Seth Ford-Young and trumpeter Chris Grady—all…

Last Night: Anvil At House Of Blues

Anvil, MitraTuesday, January 26, 2010, at House of Blues, DallasBetter Than: The school-cafeteria-grade pizza House of Blues sells for $5 a slice. Vibrator guitar. Mammoth drum solo. The hungry, lean tautness of a power trio after decades of club gigs. Those elements combined for a hell of a show, no…

Dude Food: Big Al’s Smokehouse BBQ

Big Al’s Smokehouse BBQ3317 Inwood Rd. 214-350-2649Dude Factor: 6, or Tony Romo, on a scale of 1 (Brad Johnson) to 10 (Roger Staubach)Texas being one of the reddest of red states, medical marijuana isn’t going to happen any time soon without intervention by the federal government. But if you’re, say,…

Bonus MP3: Dave Little (feat. Carter Albrecht) — “Solid”

Tonight’s long-standing Tuesday show at Ozona will be a bittersweet one for the Section 8 Comedy Troupe, as it will be Dave Little’s last with the group after nearly eight years.The Noted Regional Comic says he still loves the guys in the group, but that he is ready to move…