“This is some damn fine coffee you got here in Twin Peaks. And some damn good cherry pie. But I have to tell you something, sheriff: Last night, I had a dream in which a dancing midget talked backward, thus leading me to believe that our killer is a man…

There tend to be two poles when it comes to making semiautobiographical movies about one’s childhood, and both are designed to make the viewer cry. There’s the “those were the good old days” approach (see My Dog Skip or Stand By Me), usually depicting the time in a young boy’s…

There once was a man, and he called himself Seuss, Who wrote the best children’s books ever produced. With drawings elaborate, and tales subtly moral Of his greatness, not even this critic would quarrel. Alas, he’s now dead, and so all is not groovy, For someone said, “I know! Let’s…

Italian-Americans might be glad to note that Two Family House, which focuses on the Italian community on Staten Island, features not a single gangster, gun, or ring to be kissed. They might be even happier if the film had also chosen not to depict them as fat, pasta-eating, quick-tempered racists…

Although it must have been a no-brainer to make a sequel to The Blair Witch Project, it was hard to imagine an intelligent follow-up to a film that culminated in the apparent death of all the principals. Romeo and Juliet 2, anyone? Hamlet Returns? But given the inevitability of Book…

Let’s be honest: As much as people may complain about Spike Lee’s public pontifications on race, or his controversial stances, or his being a rabble-rouser, that’s the way we like him. What first comes to mind when you hear his name mentioned? Certainly not Girl 6 or The Original Kings…

There’s plenty of campaign rhetoric about working families, but who ever talks about one of the biggest problems of the working man today–massive corporate downsizing? In the era of record profits and welfare “reform,” all that matters is having any kind of job, whether or not it’s the one you…

At the age of 10, young Martin (Jeremy Kreikenmayer) is forced by his single mother to finally meet the father he had avioded seeing every year. Nothing wrong with that–at least on the surface; boys heading into adolescence need their fathers. Dad (Pierre Maguelon), as is often the case in…

Amanda Peet has extraordinarily large teeth; you’re surprised she can close her mouth. It may be in vogue for hot, young, would-be sex symbols to have a set of brightly polished choppers prominent in neighboring counties (cf. Neve Campbell, Casper Van Dien, or Denise Richards), but Amanda’s impressive ivories belong…

Try to resist the urge to yell “Focus!” during the first five minutes or so of An Affair of Love. It’s been a while since a director has actively utilized such tools as focus and color to hint at deeper truths, but Frederic Fonteyne (Max and Bobo) knows what he’s…

In a perfect world, any documentary about televangelists narrated by RuPaul and a couple of sock puppets would be hailed as the conceptual masterpiece of the year. Alas, those stodgy Academy voters just don’t understand cross-dressers, religious broadcasting, or foot warmers made to look like dogs. And so the best…

It’s a premise that’s bound to succeed. A young man living on the edge is trying to pull it all together while frequenting 12-step programs and holding down a job that seems calculated to drive him insane. Searching for a way out, he makes contact with a mysterious figure who…

Is there a more bankrupt genre than the parody movie? Many movies nowadays are so painfully self-aware and referential that there often isn’t much left to make fun of, which is especially the case for Kevin Williamson-penned films like Scream and its clones, clichéd teen-slasher movies that were regarded as…

Despite what many believe, it doesn’t come down to explosions, star power, or millions of greenbacks thrown at the producers. The true indicator of success for a summer movie is The Moment, that one memorable scene that sticks in your head, the one that Billy Crystal parodies the following spring…

It’s the year 3028, and man…is an endangered species! (Haven’t we heard that somewhere before, like last month?) But this time around, the threat is a little more intimidating than those effeminate, Xenu-worshipping Conehead psychologists in platform boots. The villains in Fox’s new animated spectacular Titan A.E. are the Drej…

Could there be any less appealing image than that of an obese, dress-wearing Martin Lawrence scratching his ass, as featured on the poster for Big Momma’s House? The idea of sitting through any movie promoted in such a fashion brings to mind the hideously awful It’s Pat: The Movie or…

It’s hard to imagine a more relentlessly somber basis for a movie than Jane Hamilton’s 1994 novel, A Map of the World. In it, Alice Goodwin is a small-town school nurse whose neighbor’s 2-year-old daughter accidentally drowns in the backyard pond. Alice blames herself–punishes herself, in fact, with guilt. Since…

Given that most film studios have multimillion-dollar marketing budgets with which to target 18- to 25-year-olds, it’s astonishing how little they seem to know about the everyday life of those they’re supposed to be studying. Drew Barrymore has never been kissed? Please. Rachel Leigh Cook undatable until Freddie Prinze Jr…

You’re just going to have to accept that Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd are far too glamorous for the roles they inhabit in Where the Heart Is. It’s an issue that probably won’t hurt the film’s reception: Remember Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias? Your average moviegoer loves movie stars and…

There should be more submarine movies. They provide a no-brainer formula for success: claustrophobic setting, invisible enemy whose approach must be estimated, inherent threat of drowning and depth pressure, and from a budgetary standpoint, one key set is really all that’s needed. There’s even a solid track record to draw…

Rehab, sweet rehab. Last resort of the alcoholic, the drug addict, and the would-be suicide. Free room and board, lots of tender loving care, and a whole herd of fellow recovering screw-ups who’ll always be there for you, who are willing to apologize and admit their imperfections at the drop…

Film topics are cyclical, of course, and boxing movies are currently enjoying their return to the spotlight. Or maybe “enjoying” is too strong a word. Despite the recent number of fighting tales — Play It to the Bone, The Hurricane, On the Ropes, Knockout, Price of Glory — not one…