Ever since his debut film Cronos, Spanish director Guillermo del Toro has been the focus of much undue adulation among critics and the Internet community of self-professed horror geeks. The problem is that del Toro’s work thus far simply doesn’t measure up to this kind of talk. Cronos’ biggest novelty…
“From Academy Award-nominated director Griffin Dunne…” Wait a minute. Hold the phone. That guy who co-starred with Madonna in Who’s That Girl? The guy who directed the Sandra Bullock witch movie Practical Magic and the Meg Ryan stalker movie Addicted to Love? That Griffin Dunne? Yep, he’s Oscar-nominated. In the…
This is the true story of seven people (Tommy! Annie! Ashley! Maria! Griffin! Carpo! And Benjamin!) picked to live in a city and have their lives changed. Find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start being real. The Real World–Sidewalks of New York. If you came across…
Two years ago, a colleague of Michael Cain’s asked the founder and director of the Deep Ellum Film Festival just why the hell he named his fledgling fest after a part of town in which there were, ahem, no movie theaters. “There will be,” Cain insisted, like a W.P. Kinsella…
It doesn’t take much probing beneath the thin surface to see Shallow Hal as an apologia of sorts from Bobby and Peter Farrelly. The brothers are known for making movies full of jokes about midgets, retarded people, albinos, the handicapped and so on, but always with the caveat that the…
Some guys have the kind of face that suggests they’ve been to hell and back. The narrow, steely eyes, graying hair and deep lines crisscrossing the countenance of a James Coburn or Clint Eastwood can practically do all of their acting for them in any role that calls for a…
It’s generally considered a violation of the unwritten code of film criticism to reveal anything that happens more than halfway into a movie, let alone near the end. Entire “flame wars” have been waged over the Internet over the slightest of spoilers, even when they involve something as minor as…
The opening sequence of The Glass House gives fair warning as to what is coming, presenting us with a nubile young beauty fleeing from a man wearing a mask that looks to be left over from a concert by shock-rock band Slipknot. Naturally, this is only a movie within a…
So why is it that every time they make a movie about a nerd, the character in question is always white? What’s Hollywood trying to tell us? Caucasians have a corner on the market in failing eyesight, office jobs and undernourished physiques? Or is it legitimately a white thing: How…
In the early ’90s, during a particularly dark time for the pro wrestling business, perennial jester and one-time Andy Kaufman accomplice Jerry “the King” Lawler proclaimed that he was going to do something that had never been done before: call play-by-play commentary on his own match. Entering the ring armed…
What is it that people get out of Shakespeare’s plays? Is it the stories? The flowery dialogue? The author’s ability to capture a time and place that is foreign to us, yet familiar via the emotions of the protagonists? It probably isn’t the stories. The fact is, Shakespeare often used…
On the lips of many moviegoers, the name Joel Schumacher is tantamount to blasphemy. Visions of a blue-skinned Arnold Schwarzenegger and a head-bobbing George Clooney in rubber nipples instantly come to mind, inducing shudders of revulsion and indicating an oft-held view that Mr. Schumacher epitomizes the worst American directing can…
It was about two years ago that there was real hope for the horror movie coming once again due for a decent revival. The Blair Witch Project made people remember how to fear the unknown, and remakes of The Haunting and House on Haunted Hill promised a return to the…
“I want you to suck my big dick. I want you to lick my balls.” Thus begins Larry Clark’s Bully, a return to Kids territory, following a forgettable detour into adulthood named Another Day in Paradise that apparently didn’t kick up enough of a fuss for the guy. So he…
A third Jurassic Park movie was inevitable, given that the second shattered box office records. But when you have one of the hottest box office properties of all time, isn’t it worth taking a little time to craft it? Just because you know it can only be better than The…
Chances are you don’t know a whole lot about Angel Eyes other than that it’s the brand-new Jennifer Lopez movie. Maybe you also know that it co-stars Jim Caviezel. It’s been described in some articles as a supernatural romance, and Caviezel himself has said that he can’t tell what the…
Why is John Travolta allowed resurrection after pathetic resurrection, forgiven for endless sins, yet no one cares at all about his frequent former co-star, Olivia Newton-John? Perhaps she should have waited to have her second coming heralded with a Behind the Music episode, but Newton-John returns to the big screen…
If you don’t like Tom Green, there’s no point in going anywhere near Freddy Got Fingered, as it won’t win you over. If you don’t know much about Tom Green but are curious, you might be well advised to watch videotapes of his show first, and be aware that inasmuch…
It’s a scenario we’re all familiar with by now: young single guys in search of hot babes, firing one-liners at each other, making pop-cultural references ad nauseam, and ultimately finding out that women are somewhat less shallow than they’ve been led to believe. At least, it’s a scenario you know…
It’s always dangerous, when describing a film, to label it as “whimsical.” For one thing, it’s often hard to get a bead on what exactly that means. Then, once you get some idea, you realize that it generally means either (a) a movie that’s trying to be funny but isn’t;…
Hollywood appears to be developing a healthy sense of humor about Valentine’s Day, which, from this cynic’s perspective, is a good thing. In the new millennium, rather than dole out romantic trifles like Return to Me as per the usual plan, we’ve seen Valentine (bitter ex-nerd cuts beautiful people to…
The Wedding Planner begins with footage of a 7-year-old girl performing a wedding ceremony with her Barbies, a fitting opening since the movie that ensues could almost be the result of a screenwriter literally transcribing the play scenario enacted by a small child and her dolls. If you were (or…
