What’s Occupying Tom Leppert

Fat, rested, ready: Buzz is back after a week’s vacation spent camping out on Wall Street, fueling the fires of progressive revolution as we take back America from the crony capitalists and amoral fat … Naaah. Just foolin’. We spent the week in New England, eating large quantities of fatty…

Get Off on Gourds

Really? There are still kids today who would enjoy posing in a version of Cinderella’s magically transformed carriage? Thought they’d all be busy killing things in Gears of War 3. Amazing what we don’t know about children (damn restraining order). If your little princess — or prince, we’re not judging…

It’s Good to Be White…

Block the vote: Listen up, fellow white people. Buzz knows that the election of a black president has ushered in a giddy era for many of us. White people have been able to get away with stuff we wouldn’t have dared in pre-Obama days: that whole birther thing, the secret…

Eat Up While You Can, Texas

Just kidding: Wrapped around this issue is our 2011 Best of Dallas® edition, in which we take a lighthearted look at predictions that the end of the world is near. Man, we hope those jokes don’t come back to bite us in the ass. We say this because Texas AgriLife…

Dallas Should Go With the Flow Control

Go with the flow: How about that? City council member Carolyn Davis said something Buzz agrees with. Either it’s time our doc adjusted our meds, or Davis actually made sense at a recent hearing on “waste flow control” when she said: “[Trash has] been going there for 50 years and…

East Meets Plano West. There Blows the Curve!

So the Morning News on Wednesday reported on a battle brewing in Plano ISD over attendance boundaries between Plano West and Plano East senior high schools. Pretty dry stuff, unless you’re a parent who gives a shit, so you likely missed this nugget from the story: Along with some others,…

Falling for Big Tex’s Line

Fair warning: So what is it about Big Tex? Is he the devil, or are we just dumb? How does that tall, black-haired State Fair icon tempt us back to Fair Park year after year, though we know pretty much exactly what we’ll get? It’s not that we don’t love…

Miracle Guile: Rick Perry Has an Odd Way of Measuring Success

Promised land: Buzz spent the past couple of days sorting through data comparing the Lone Star State’s economy with other states’, a task also being undertaken by about 900,000 media types — damn libtards, all — trying to find evidence that presidential candidate Rick Perry’s bragging about our state’s economic…

On Bended Knee at The Response

Miracle whip: Buzz is heartsick we can’t drive to Houston this weekend to attend The Response, Governor Rick Perry’s big prayer meetin’. That means we’ll miss witnessing firsthand any miracles wrought by the convocation of several thousand mostly white, Republican, viciously homophobic “prayer warriors.” The timing of the event also…

D Finally U-Turns on Trinity Road

Comes the dawn: That’s it? After a good 14 years of Trinity toll road rah-rahing and questioning the integrity of anyone who suggested that putting a road between the Trinity River levees was a bad idea, D Magazine has apparently (and quietly) changed its mind. “Let’s Ditch the Trinity River…

Viva la Evolution: The Creationists Return to Austin

Designing woman: July has been a grim month for Texas education. First there was the report that students taking early versions of the state’s new end-of-course exams failed miserably. The worst performance was 42 percent in physics, but at least students know where their cell phones come from — China,…

Throw the Bums Out

Touche: You’re good, Angela Hunt. Very good. We thought we had you last week, after you tweeted photos of ordinary-looking folks hanging out in Main Street Gardens park with their luggage. Lots of luggage. “I’m tired of bums in Main St. Garden,” you railed. “Counted 12-many sleepng. Where is DPD?…

Bad Company: Price and Friends Had Plenty of Enablers.

Enough’s enough: Buzz has written before about our mother’s attitudes about child-rearing and pool halls: “If I ever catch you in that pool hall,” she’d tell us, referring to our hometown’s only billiards parlor, “I’ll slap the living shit out of you.” Mother Buzz, a 4-foot-11 middleweight with a palm…

John Wiley Price: Give the Devil His Due

Let the games begin: “Should I dance, or should I sing?” Dallas County Commissioner Maurine Dickey asked Monday, after learning what we all did: that FBI agents were searching the office, home and cars of her fellow commissioner and nemesis, John Wiley Price, along with those of two of his…

Join Us

Who knew? Sometime during the 8th century, between bouts of famine, scurvy and smallpox, dynastic conflict and bloody religious war, the Franks invented “jazz hands.” And when they weren’t hacking away with broadswords, or hacking up a lung, they took time to create bouncy, light pop. It’s amazing what one…

Hey, D Magazine, Here’s How You “Recant.”

Speak up, son: So, Wick Allison, publisher of D Magazine, long ago dropped his support for the city’s controversial plan to build a toll road between the Trinity River levees. Who knew? We sure didn’t. Last we’d heard, D was still a member of the toll road’s cheerleading squad led…

Holy Crap: Does Perry Have a Prayer?

Dear God: OK, Buzz is a little late with cracking wise about “The Response,” Governor Rick Perry’s national day of prayer and monster truck rally to take place next month in Houston. What? No monster trucks? Why, then, would anyone in his right mind travel to Houston in August for…

Hey, Mike Rawlings, Pick Up a Damn Paper, Will You?

Aw, nuts: Exactly what information is mayoral candidate Mike Rawlings waiting to hear before he passes judgment on whether Dallas should continue its futile effort to build a toll road between the Trinity River levees near downtown? Give us a hint, Mike, about what it’s gonna take, ’cause between this…

Dallas City Hall Fights to Keep its Trinity Secrets

Fishin’ in the Trinity: OK, now we’re really curious. We’re talking to you, Dallas City Hall, about those Trinity River project emails and memos you’re fighting to keep us from seeing. What, has someone been unduly candid in his or her assessment of the city’s plans to put a toll…